1} Children Love Mud
Water + Dirt = Magic! Prepare for the annual Mud Pie Buffet – this year they are serving a nice gravel appetizer. Invest in rain pants and let the kiddos squish the muck to their heart’s content. If your child is Team Anti-Mud, make a game of mopping the entry hall. You can have fun fighting the dirt as well as stomping in it.
There will be a slight increase in your laundry load, however. Here’s my tip for getting those mud stains out of your child’s favorite white sweater. Take two parts baking soda, one part lemon juice and 500 parts Stop Caring Until Mid-May, by which point there will be enough stains to call it a brown sweater, and it will be too warm to wear anyway.
2} Muck Social
All winter long you’ve been snug in your home. It’s time to reacquaint yourself with your neighbors as you all work together to pull Susan’s little Hyundai out of the clay bog that used to be your dirt road. Catch up on the news while you rejoice in your decision to buy an all-wheel drive.
3} Practical Exercise
Bathing the mud-caked dog is both an aerobic and strength building workout. Think of the time you’ll save at the gym! Engage your core in Mud Yoga as you struggle to keep upright in a slick puddle of silt. Relax into sludge meditation when your balance slips and you find yourself reclined in the gunk, eyes skyward.
4} Vehicle Cleaning Vacation
No one will judge you based on the cleanliness of your vehicle. So go ahead, let the children write hilarious messages in the passenger side dirt. You know that those fresh layers of sediment will seal in the seasoning of the road salt and come summer your car finish will be cooked to perfection. As for the interior, either make your peace with muck, or staple plastic drop cloths to every visible surface, it’s your call.
5} Spiritual Growth
Come mud season, there is a lot of extra water in the ground. I spend heaps of spiritual energy focused on praying that none of it visits my basement. So far, the gods have been kind.
6} Possible Monster Sightings
I have it on good authority (from my four year old, who is expert on such matters) that at the bottom of each large puddle lurks a giant sucking monster – possibly a leviathan, eyewitness reports are sketchy- whose sole purpose is to latch on and attack boots. I propose we spend this mud season hunting the beast with our camera phones. Imagine the YouTube hits we’d get from authentic footage of the Vermont Bog Boot Goblin! We’d be able to retire and make puddle jumping videos full time!
7} Environmental Stewardship
Me, I love rambling along the forest paths and mountain trails that cover our state. But I know not everyone shares my enthusiasm for the partially beaten path. The rest of the year, you need elaborate excuses for why you won’t join in the group march to Camel’s Hump. But in mud season, staying off the high elevation trails is the smart move! You can nod wisely and rattle off impressive words like “soil compaction” and “damaging natural resources”. By staying home and watching Netflix, you are SAVING THE ENVIRONMENT.
Have a squishy mucky merry mud season, Vermont!
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Thanks for the chuckles Laura, what a great way to start my morning. Have you heard the one about the old Vermonter sitting on his porch, watching the mud road? Suddenly, he sees a hat floating by. It’s a good hat, so he grabs a stick to lift it out, and sees a man’s head underneath. “Are you alright?” he asks, and the man replies, “Oh, I’m fine, it’s my horse I’m worried about.”