BurlingtonVT Moms Blog is partnering with Vermont Midwives Association to bring you our latest series titled “How I Became a Mother” in honor of Mother’s Day. Each of us has a unique journey on how we got here…here being in this crazy thing called motherhood. Some of us have grown our families through adoption, some through donor sperm. Some of us have struggled with infertility while others of us have needed to rely on faith and science. Bringing a child into this world is no less than miraculous regardless of how it’s done. These next two weeks we want to share with you the stories of how we became mothers, to let you know that no two families are born the same. Join us on this journey as we celebrate Moms!
Babies Welcome in Due Time
For me, there has never been any question as to whether or not I wanted to have children one day. It was only a matter of with whom, and when. When I met my future husband we were all about having fun. He had a motorcycle and we could travel up the mountain to watch the sunset and then go have dinner anywhere we’d like. Even though I was headed to college, we managed to make lots of time for one another and eventually moved into a house together. Completely head over heels in love, committing our lives to one another was the next natural step. We couldn’t imagine ever being apart. We were married 2 years after our first date.
I need to backtrack just a bit…this IS a post about becoming a mother, and I am nothing if not genuine. I had been on birth control up until about 2 months before our wedding day. I figured that the medication would take a little bit to get out of my system and I felt that it would only be right, for me, as a married woman, to accept any baby that God, or the Universe, or whomever it is that controls such things, intended for us to have. I knew that I was capable of caring for a child, even if, at 21, I may not have felt ready in many ways. I also knew that my soon-to-be-husband would be a great provider, being the hard working man that he is. We were ready, but not necessarily planning on it.
Our wedding was on a gorgeous July day. It was 1998 & there had been horrible flooding months earlier, washing out roads around us, one of which our guests would be traveling on to get to Mary’s at Baldwin Creek, where our reception was to be held. The roads were repaired shortly before our big day, family was traveling from near & far, and we were blessed with sunshine & so much love that day. As the party ended & we said our good-byes to our friends and family, I realized our married life together was off to a beautiful start. We sat at the bar that evening to discuss the highlights of our day, I in my white dress, and he in his fish tie, and I could feel the happiness in my face, mouth tired from smiling, as well as the exhaustion that had been accumulating up until that day.
My Mom hosted a brunch for us the following day, so that we could open gifts and thank everyone in person. It was also my 22nd birthday, so it was extra special for me to have our loved ones with us to celebrate. We headed to Maine for our week away and I soon found myself not feeling the best. I stopped reading all of the cards and closed my eyes for a rest. Our honeymoon was so relaxing. We stayed in our friends’ camp for the week and much of our time was spent sitting by the lake. I don’t think I had ever taken that many naps in my life. I attributed it to the build-up of all of the wedding planning I had done in the last 6 months. What was a bit strange was that we had brought along a bottle of wine and I had a few sips and just couldn’t drink it. (We can all see where this is going, can’t we?)
My husband talked me into whitewater rafting, even though I questioned whether or not I should be doing that (if there were even the slightest chance I could be, you know, but that would be a long shot) and we had a blast. The week quickly came to an end and it was time to head back home to the Green Mountain State. It wasn’t long before we were home that I realized something was going on with me. I was still tired, I couldn’t stand the thought of a drink or certain foods, and my body was just out of whack. My co-workers told me I was pregnant. I didn’t quite believe them.
“It doesn’t happen that fast! I was just on birth control! We weren’t even trying.”
I had all of the reasons why I couldn’t be pregnant but the biggest one may have been that I hadn’t planned it. Not right now. I still had things I needed to!
Sometimes there are things that have happened in my life that I question. I wonder why was I chosen to take this path. I think it took me a day, or maybe half of a day, to accept that having my baby as a fairly newly married woman was going to be the path for me. After that day of letting it all sink in, I was the most excited I had ever been in my life. I ate all the right foods, I didn’t have a drop of any alcohol and I played classical music to my belly.
The gift of Motherhood has been a complete dream.
That first blessing has grown into a beautiful 15 year old girl, with more to offer this world than I ever could have imagined. I am thankful for her, & for the 3 daughters that followed, because even if it wasn’t on my time, it was my destiny.