Valentine’s Day is around the corner and I felt complelled to write a post about marriage. I decided to brainstorm my post by seeking relationship advice from my family, friends, co-workers and even complete strangers. I was given some great advice and the wealth of knowledge and honesty that came my way started the wheels a turning! If you are reading this, chances are, you are a parent. As a fellow parent, I’m willing to bet that since having children, the attention you give to your marriage has petered out a bit. Am I right? If so, I have a proposition for you.
I dare you, no, I TRIPLE-DOG DARE you, to make this year your most considerate, your most kind. The “experts” say that marriages take work, so work hard! Be awesome! Instead of an expensive gift, give your partner a signed contract detailing the ways in which you are going to work hard. Put it in a place where you will see it frequently.
Ask your partner to do the same. Yeah, I know. It’s a little dorky. But really? What do you have to lose? Think of what could be gained.
And so, with no further ado, some of the best advice I was given:
“I promise to make time for my partner, whether it be a formal date night or a cuddle on the couch. It’s too easy to fall into the “stuff” of life and ignore the meat.” (Wife, married 6 years)
“I promise that if we get into a late night argument, I will put up my white flag and resolve that going to bed angry will be more sane and productive than a tired, heated argument that leads us nowhere.” (Wife, married 6 years.)
“I promise to communicate well and often.” (Wife, married 8 years)
“I promise to start saying “thank you” more. Thank you for doing the dishes, thank you for taking the garbage out, thank you for giving me time without the kids.” (Wife, married 8 years.)
“I promise that when you need to vent, I will stop turning directly to giving you advice, shut my mouth and listen.” (Husband, married 10 years)
“I promise to write down lessons I have had learned in “our book.” Whether serious or silly, I promise to look at these lessons often and use them to stop pointing the finger at you when you have made a mistake.” (Wife, married 10 years)
“I promise to laugh with you more!” (Wife, married 12.5 years)
“I promise to respect you.” (Husband, married 15 years)
“I promise to never stop kissing you. REALLY kissing you.” (Husband, married 18 years)
“I promise to try not to get stuck in the small stuff. When I am frustrated over you stumbling or doing something that I perceive as annoying or thoughtless, I will cover for you and think about all of the many, many things you do to help our marriage work.” (Wife, married for 22.5 years.)
“I promise to make intimacy a priority. When life feels busy? I will schedule it!” (Wife, married 24 years.)
“I promise not to compare my partner to someone else’s partner. ” (Wife, married 48 years, received this advice during her wedding ceremony from her minister.)
So there you have it. Pick a few of these bits of advice and add some of your own. I dare you.
You might just find you will fall in love all over again.
How funny! I was just thinking about writing about marriage sometime soon as well! Great tips!