Unleashing your mom power can turn a meek and mild Mindy to a badass Betty. And, at the same time, unleashing your mom power will allow you to participate in life in a way that brings you great satisfaction without regrets and guilt. Seriously.
To become a bad bitch you must truly believe that you are a bad bitch.
This is key. Nobody feels like a bad bitch all of the time. The trick is, on those days when you feel less than, fake that shit until you make it. Not only will this make you feel more empowered, but it will also send a message to the world that you are not here for garbage behavior.
No one is suggesting that you cruise through life leaving your shopping carts willy-nilly in the parking lot. Put that shit away. No one wants you to use your phone on speaker in the doctor’s office waiting room. You don’t need to be the parent taking all the time in the world in the school drop-off line. No one wants you to be an unpleasant jerk. But, maybe it’s just time to start unleashing your mom power and get back control of your own life.
To be frank, I too am human. A bit less than 50% of the time, I feel like an imposter. But I keep telling myself how badass I am. It may take a minute, but my brain always remembers that this bitch is bad af.
That inner monologue lying to you again? Making you doubt your power? Tell it to shut up. You belong here. Then immediately do something that makes you feel like the queen that you are, even if it’s small. Chat with someone who builds you up. Excuse yourself and take a moment to regroup. Paint your toenails. Sing along loudly and badly to some Halsey. Wear sexy panties. Whatever it is that helps remind you that you’re a goddess, DO IT. Do something big or small that gets that crown right back where it belongs.
Let me be honest. Sometimes we all get a little lost in life. We forget who we are beyond butt-wipers and laundry folders and worker bees. We forget what brings us joy and what hobbies we enjoy. We forget that we ever watched anything other than Bluey and that we ate foods outside of the beige food group. It’s easy to get a little lost as a mom, particularly when you have little kids or kids with complex needs, or when you’re just going all out to simply survive, juggling work and parenthood, or caring for your own parents and parenting your kiddos. We all lose our way at times.
When you’re feeling your mom power, harness that feeling it gives you and keep it with you always. Take it out and dust it off when you need a little help holding up your crown.
1. Say “YES” to the shit that scares you. Not just yes, but “HELL YES!”
This part is huge.
My confidence is often shaky. I cannot tell you how many times in life I have allowed myself to sit something out because I was scared of being told no. Don’t let opportunities pass you by. You’ll regret it. I promise.
You know what I don’t regret? Leaving “what ifs” in the past. Yolo, sis.
So get the fuck out there and live your life. If you’re single, swipe right on the hottest guys and gals. Apply for those dream jobs. Start that podcast. Take the trip. Hike the mountain. We get a finite number of hours to spend on this earth. Quit wasting them on what-ifs.
2. Start matching energies
I’m pretty sure I picked up some bullshit attachment issues from my childhood. Because of this, I tend to hyperfocus on other people and their happiness instead of, or at the expense of, my own. I pour a fuck ton of energy into people and relationships that don’t reciprocate, and then I feel exhausted and sad when nobody invests in me. Sound familiar?
Over the past six months, something finally clicked in this bitch’s brain. I decided to quit walking to the ends of the earth to make people happy who can’t even call to check on you once in a while.
Match energies, sis. Save the big energy for those in your life who deserve it. Learn to say NO with zero explanations. Free yourself from the bullshit guilt trap.
3. Confidence, bitches. Confidence
Look at all of the dragons you have had to slay to get to where you’re at in your life. You have survived 100% of your worst days thus far.
You are a fucking bad bitch. Own it. Don’t be afraid to be a little confident. It will feel awkward at first, but soon enough you’ll be hearing that your confidence is sexy, too. Unleashing your mom power can do a whole lot for your self-esteem.
4. Hearing NO isn’t the worst thing ever
It’s actually good for you.
I know sometimes it’s hard to swallow, but do try to roll with it. I cannot tell you how many times things in my life have not gone according to plan. Try not to get too caught up in grieving what isn’t happening and try to get excited about what IS.
My greatest adventures in life have begun with misadventure. Are you lost in the middle of nowhere? Enjoy the scenery and just drive straight for a while. You’ll find yourself again, and you’ll see some cool shit along the way.
Something else that’s kind of cool about hearing “No”? It’ll make you more comfortable saying it. “No” isn’t rude, it’s not an insult, it’s not bad in any way. As they say, “No is a complete sentence.” Hear it without fear, say it without remorse. Unleashing your mom power can feel really good.
5. DO NOT ACCEPT MEDIOCRITY IN THE BEDROOM
Don’t buy into the whole, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” thing. One thing I have learned in life is that most good partners WANT to please you. They want you to enjoy yourself. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married or if that thing that got you going at 25 is no longer anything you want at 35. People change. Desires change.
The thing is, they are not mind readers. If they aren’t doing something the way you like, tell them. Or better yet, SHOW THEM.
Make it a fun and sexy game between the two of you. If they don’t want to adjust accordingly, then they don’t deserve access to your bomb-ass pussy. Period.
If you don’t know what you like in the bedroom, it’s time to wine and dine yourself, sis. Seriously. Light some candles, and set the mood. Explore yourself and get to know your parts. Learn what works for you, and implement it.
Bad bitches don’t have time for anything less than stellar sex. Read that last sentence again. Unleashing your mom power has the potential to benefit more than just you and in many parts of your life.
Need help getting in touch with your sensual side? Read The Power of Boudoir Photography with Hillary Dubie, Vermont’s #1 Photographer!
6. Know your value, sis
Here is some advice that goes to our single moms and our married ones. You are an earthly goddess. You deserve to be treated as such. Anything less is unacceptable. No excuses or justifications. Make your partner work a little bit for your attention.
If they aren’t willing to make an effort sometimes then you need to move on to the next. Don’t settle for a few morsels of attention here and there. Demand what you want. Expect nothing less. See again – Start matching energies above.
7. Speak your truth
Say what’s on your mind. Don’t mute yourself for anyone. You’re intelligent and your feelings and opinions matter.
Women are taught to be quiet. Fuck that.
You deserve to live your best life. A huge part of that is advocating for yourself. This applies to all areas of your life. Whether it’s with your partner, boss, or best friend; you deserve to be heard.
Unleashing your mom power and being a bad bitch is a whole-ass lifestyle. Change your mindset just a tiny bit and watch what happens. Go make shit happen. You’ve got this.
Looking for some Vermont Moms who are bad bitches? Check out these Innovative, Inspiring Vermont Instagram Moms You Want to Follow!
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