It’s time to start getting ready for back to school here in Vermont. One of the many things I love about the school my boys attend is that they do not ask you to send in a bazillion items for school supplies. It wasn’t until 6th grade and now this year in 7th, that my oldest was asked to bring in some items for his own personal use. The list was unsurprising at first, a binder for each subject, a calculator, pencils….and then one item I wasn’t really prepared for…deodorant.
This is my baby, you guys, and people are telling me it’s time to buy him deodorant. I suppose I knew it was coming, but these days of teenager stuff have snuck up on me.
So off we went to the store. My boy is a modest one, embarrassed by the mere mention of things personal care related, so I didn’t inform him of the deodorant purchasing that was about to happen. He would have never come to the store with me. Sometimes being a mom means being tricky.
I strolled into the deodorant aisle very non-nonchalantly. “So, I think it’s time we buy you some deodorant.” What happened next was a series of events that left me in stitches for days. So naturally, I must tell the general public all about it. But if you pass him in the street, this never happened, ok?
C: I don’t really need deodorant, Mom.
Me: Well maybe not but it was on your school list and it’s probably about time anyway so let’s just get it.
C: Fine, just hurry and grab one.
Me: Well, I don’t want to get one with aluminum or other chemicals, I’d like to get an all-natural brand.
Me: Because I’ve read that those kinds of products can cause hormone disruption.
C: Please don’t say the word hormone to me.
Me: What, it’s human biology it’s not embarrassing, everyone has hormones in their body.
C: Oh my gosh, Mom, stop saying hormones in public.
Me: Here is the Tom’s brand, let’s pick one of those.
C: But the container looks girly. I want one like this. (Picks up one with the words MAN spread across the label.)
Me: But look at all the chemicals. Pick a Tom’s one.
He picks one and buries it in the cart underneath all the other items. We head to the register…
C: I’ll meet you in the car.
Me: No, just stay with me.
C: (whispering) But people will know that deodorant is for me. I am not standing next you.
Me: No one cares about us buying deodorant. For all they know, it’s for me.
C: Girls don’t buy “mountain spring” deodorant. I am NOT standing next to you. I’ll be one aisle over.
So I check out while he pretends to be very interested in all of the gum in the next aisle.
As I’m about to leave, I look over and call his name, “C! Let’s go!”
The look he gave me was one of pure horror. It was as if I just announced over the loud speaker that we bought him deodorant.
C: MOM. Now everyone knows I am with the lady who bought deodorant. They know it’s for me! You are so embarrassing!
If buying him deodorant gets me in trouble, what is he going to do when I tease him about girls? This is going to be fun.
Happy back to school!
Loved this! Brought some laughter to my day 🙂
Oh my goodness, this is just too much! I love hearing these boy stories, so funny!
Boy stories are always good for a laugh! 🙂
The best is when you have to send the hubby and the 13-year old daughter to the store for maxi-pads because I’m at work and she desperately needs them. He sent her into the aisle and she grabbed the first one she saw, which was also the most expensive, just so they could get out of the store quickly.
At this moment, I am thanking God I don’t have girls!
And I thank God my that my autistic child is a boy. I can’t even imagine going through female puberty with an autistic girl. Those parents that do have my utmost admiration!