Moving On: An Open Letter to Myself for When I Feel Like A Failure


From the exciting moments of being so proud that your heart might explode to feeling like a failure, being a mom can go from the highest highs to the lowest lows on any given day.  If we’re lucky, we have days that run somewhere in the middle.

Parenting is an amazing journey, and no one can quite prepare you for how your life is forever changed after the birth of your little one.  

Recently, I had one of those days.  You know, THOSE days.  A day that by the end, I was ready to crawl into a hole somewhere with a bag of M&M’s (you know the one, from Costco?  I’m not messing around here), a pillow, and a blanket.  I was ready to stay for a while.  It was so bad that as I sat having my failure pity party, I was envisioning my child in the future dismissing all of the things he had been taught and heading down a path of destruction.  

A sweet treat when I feel like a failure.

I have been accused of projecting before, and here I was doing it again.  I decided that before the next time this happens, and it WILL happen again, I would write a letter to myself.  A letter reminding me that it will be okay, and that every parent feels like this more than once.  

So here it is.  An open letter to myself for when I feel like a failure:

Dear Future Self,

Yes, you.  The one sitting in the glider with her eyes closed, crying, and licking her proverbial wounds from an afternoon that was complete and utter chaos.  An afternoon where it felt like your oldest child must have been raised by wolves, because no way no how was he ever taught to behave like that in THIS house.  An afternoon where you wondered if anything you did as a parent made a difference.

I am here to tell you, your parenting makes a difference.  

I am here to tell you that there have been days like this before, and there will be days like this again.  But before you pack up and head to the nearest hotel, let me provide you with this…

You are an amazing mom.

You show up every. damn. day. regardless of what happened the day before.

You constantly point out the positive, even on the darkest of days, when the most positive thing you can say is, “You got your jammies on super fast!”  You find the golden lining in every cloud.  

You are relentless in your fight for your children to behave like good people.  To BE good people.  And by “fight” I mean that you and the hubby share love and show patience and model kindness the best way you know how.  

There is no doubt that you love your children.  

And finally, you are not a failure.  

You are a mom.  And sometimes being a mom feels easy, and sometimes it feels really, really, hard.  So, dry your tears.  Eat a few more M&Ms.  Give your kiddos one more kiss before heading to bed and take a deep breath because tomorrow is a new day.

Love, Past Self

I have a  feeling that I am not the only one who has these days.  

So, if you are reading this and tonight you are one of those moms, take my words to heart for yourself and remember:  You show up.  You show love.  And tomorrow is a new day.


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