Every Thursday, following our Pilates class, my friend and I get breakfast and talk about everything from mothering to politics, gardening, travel, and favorite brands of underwear. As one does. Today’s topic of conversation was love. Not just love but what it means to be in love. And, as tends to happen, we began to discuss best friends. Because, you see, my husband is my best friend.
Love is tricky. It’s a word that carries immense depth and infinite interpretations. And, quite frankly, the word “love” is incredibly overused. “OMG, I LOVE that bag” probably isn’t the same sort of love you express to your kids, right? Love is a concept that has intrigued poets and philosophers for centuries, inspiring countless tales of romance and heartache. And amidst the narratives of love, there lies an important distinction that often gets overlooked- the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
As my friend and I discussed our feelings on this topic, it became clear that we both had different opinions on the matter. My friend simply couldn’t see the difference between “love” and “in love” so I challenged her by asking, “You probably also think you can have more than one best friend, don’t you?” To which she replied- YES! (To be fair, she probably has many best friends.)
But I do not. I don’t know, maybe it’s the pragmatic Capricorn thinker that I am- everything has a place and a meaning, and nothing can be left open to interpretation. Best is best. Love is not in love.
“How can that be?” I asked her. Pressing on, I said, “Best means the most, to the highest degree- there can’t be more than one!”
I continued by asking, “OK, if you won a trip and could only take one person- who would it be? If you had to bare your soul and share all your secrets with one person, who would you share with?”
You see, I have one best friend. One person I prefer to travel with, one person I share my secrets with. I have many truly powerful and amazing friendships, but my very best friend, my ride-or-die, is my husband. That’s right. My husband is my best friend.
My friend was in shock. She confessed that she had never heard anyone say this before. I wondered if something was wrong with me until I quickly realized how blessed I am to have a marriage that has both a deep love connection and an equally deep friendship.
My husband is my best friend. He has stuck by my side through thick and thin. Our love is unconditional. We fight, of course (we’re probably the two most stubborn people in the world, so it can get ugly), but we always come back to each other. In fact, we usually laugh together about how stupid we were.
We play together and work together. We even have our own language. Boo, in case you’re reading this, “schmurpel durp.” When I’m sad, he’s the person I seek out. When I have the best news ever, he’s the first person I want to tell. When I need advice, it’s his advice. Heck, he’s the first person I send a funny meme to because he’s my best friend!
On this Valentine’s Day, I want to take a moment to thank my best friend, my husband, for being my best friend and for teaching me the difference between “love” and “in love.”
Guest Author: Chelsea Russell
Chelsea is a happily married mom of two. As the owner of La Bella Derma Luxury and Clinical Skincare, Chelsea is a licensed Esthetician specializing in medical spa services and laser treatments. Not only is she an entrepreneur, but she’s also a chemist! She formulates and makes small-batch skincare that focuses on active, sustainable, and ethically-sourced ingredients. In her free time, Chelsea likes landscaping, remodeling, coffee with friends, and Pilates.
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