I’m going to have to pass on your Girl’s Night; I’d rather hang out with my husband and kids. Sorry, not sorry.
I feel so relieved to finally say it out loud. I know, it’s cool to complain about and put down our husbands. Ya know, girl power and all. Of course, there are definitely things he does that I’d like to vent about, at times. But, given the option to hang out with my husband or you; I’ll always pick him.
That’s why I agreed to marry him, for Pete’s sake! I didn’t choose him based solely on his looks (they helped, though). This might seem crazy, but I actually enjoy my husband’s company. I enjoy hearing about his day and telling him about mine. I look forward to chatting with him about TV show predictions and discussing current events. My absolute favorite thing to do is to fill him in on all of the crazy and hysterical things our kids have said that day. At the risk of sounding cliche, he is my best friend. And I’m not going to be made to feel ashamed of this any longer.
The thing is, my husband works a lot.
He works, on average, 11 hours a day, five days a week. Then, on the weekend, he puts in at least a few more hours each day. Additionally, he travels out-of-state for overnight trips a few times a month. I miss him, and when he’s home and not working, I don’t want to be anywhere else with anyone else.
I chat with mom friends all day in group messages, Facebook groups, at school pick up and drop off, during after school playdates and at sports practices. I am in almost constant communication with other mom friends. I don’t feel lonely or unsupported. I have a village, and we talk regularly. My village does not need to interfere with my family time.
Furthermore, not only do I value time with my husband over time with other friends, but I also don’t feel like I need a break from my kids. They are at school all day. In fact, once school is over for the day, I really don’t want to give them up to anyone or anything else. As they are getting older, I find myself challenged by sports and activities that reduce our family time. I struggle to determine how much of the time I have with them I am willing to give to extracurricular activities. This is a constant internal battle for me.
I’m not saying that I want my family to be holed up in our house alone together like a pack of hermits (though sometimes in the winter, I might be tempted). I’d just prefer, on nights and weekends, to do things together with my family. For instance, on weekends in the winter, we ski together. During the spring, summer, and fall weekends, we hike, canoe, and swim together. We also enjoy hanging out as a family or as a couple with other families and couples. Couples bowling nights, bonfires, family pizza parties that turn into dance parties… we are here for that. Please invite us.
We aren’t antisocial, we just want to be together.
This does not make me an anti-feminist, weak, antisocial or any of the other things that have been implied about my choices. My husband is not controlling or overbearing. In fact, if I told him I was going out for a girls night (or even if I wanted to treat myself to something alone) he would encourage me and tell me to have fun.