When I was pregnant with my second child, I worried about how I was going to deal with two kids. Among my many worries, I felt unprepared on how to deal with discipline issues when one child was misbehaving and the other was doing what I asked.
With one child, I could just tell him that if he continued to misbehave, we would leave the park/library/wherever and go home. What should I do when there were two children and only one deserved to go home? I felt that it would be unfair to the behaving child to get taken away from the activity, but I also didn’t want the misbehavior of the other child to go unaddressed.
It turns out that it wasn’t as big of a problem as I had thought. Most of the time, my children fed off of each other’s behavior, so they often ended up both misbehaving and it was an easy choice to remove them from the situation. I also ended up using time-outs quite often. They were usually quite effective when one sibling had to sit on the sidelines and watch the other child having fun. There were a few times when I had to take both children home when only one of them was the guilty party. At that point, I would try to compensate the well-behaved child by letting her (it was usually my daughter) spend time reading library books with me or picking out a television show to watch.
Fast forwarding a few years, our family’s current dilemma is our differing opinions on winter.
My son absolutely loves winter. He gets so excited to go play in the snow and hunt for icicles. He reminds me of an overly excited puppy at times. He would gladly play outside in the cold weather for hours on end. I often have to remind him to wear his gloves. On the other hand, my daughter absolutely hates winter. She pretty much refuses to play outside in the snow and keeps telling me how much she wishes it was spring already. She borrowed a DVD of The Secret Garden from the library and was in love with all of the beautiful flowers. I myself fall somewhere in the middle. How in the world do I deal with two children who are such polar opposites in their attitudes towards winter?
The best thing that happened was that I reached the point of trusting my son to play outside in the backyard by himself. We went over the rules of playing outside, such as staying in the yard and not hitting an icicle while standing underneath it. Most days after school, I let my son play outside as soon as we get home. I always ask my daughter if she would like to play outside with him, but the answer is always a resounding no. I feel confident enough in my son’s behavior that I feel free to go inside with my daughter and just keep an eye on my son through the back door. He is usually much calmer after running around playing in the yard for a half hour or so.
While at the library for story time, the librarian read us a book called Winter is for Snow by Robert Neubecker. The brother loves the snow and the sister hates it. This pretty much sums up my family’s situation. Of course, this book has a happy ending, but I’m still struggling to find a happy medium in my family. Similar to the story, there is one winter activity that will lure my daughter outside: sledding! Unfortunately, our tiny yard offers no place for sleds, but I do make an effort to get out to some local parks to go sledding several times throughout the winter. I also pulled my daughter on a sled one snowy afternoon to go pick up her brother from kindergarten. I was a tired, sweaty mess after that trek, but my daughter was smiling and laughing the entire way, which made up for it.
I still try to lure my daughter outside from time to time during the winter, but it doesn’t always work and it takes a lot of preparation on my part. To have any chance of a successful outing, I must make sure that my daughter is covered in snow gear from head to toe so that she doesn’t get too cold. If we’re going to be out for more than about 15 minutes, I also need to have some water and probably also a snack available to her. I also realize that she is needier than her independent older brother, so an adult needs to be constantly by her side, encouraging her to have fun in the snow.
I did manage to get both kids to go on a First Day hike at Grand Isle State Park with me. My son was running around and sliding like a penguin and just thoroughly enjoying himself. My daughter hung back with me at first, but did venture out with her brother a few times, which felt like a big success to me. She often complained that she was thirsty, but I came prepared with a water bottle. She also complained about being hungry, but I had snacks waiting in the car. The walk was a loop, which had the added benefit of forcing her to keep walking instead of immediately giving up and going back inside. There was some lovely hot chocolate waiting for us at the end of the hike, but my kids both ended up spitting it all over their snow suits and then fishing out just the marshmallows while refusing to drink the rest. I still called the outing a success because it gave us time to be outside in the snow together as a family. It was also great motivation to wash all the snow clothes.
What are your tips for winter activities that satisfy both lovers and haters of snow?
[…] Winter has arrived and so has cabin fever. My son, like most preschool age children, requires constant entertainment. Snow, sleet and freezing rain trap us inside our house. I strategically lay out art projects, trucks, dress up etc.- all of which buy me a few minutes of peace. And yes, like most parents, I eventually give in and turn on the TV for 20 minutes of Daniel Tiger. […]