There are times in my day when I encounter people for one reason or another that make me utter under my breath the words “I’m guessing you don’t have kids!”
Here is a sample of those encounters:
- To the creator of the automated phone system: as I’m trying to navigate your phone system and I hear so much as a peep from my children in the background, I get the pleasure of either being directed back to the beginning menu or the robotic voice telling me “I’m sorry you’re having trouble. Goodbye!” I’m guessing you don’t have kids.
- To the professional dog walker that gave me the stink eye on our walk as I was wrangling my 2 kids back into the stroller for the 20th time after playing in yet another mud patch and my dog just happened to get her leash completely twisted around us but then decided she wanted to say hi to you. Yeah. I’m guessing you don’t have kids.
- To the staff at Victoria’s Secret: As I’m rushing in to quickly buy a pair of my favorite underwear (since my dog dined on my last pair) with a newborn in tow and a 3 yr old escaping to test out all of your lipgloss and you tell me the bras (not nursing bras) are on sale. Just thinking about my neglected boobs sends them leaking like a faucet. I’m guessing you don’t have kids.
- To the car behind me laying on your car horn a millisecond after the light has turned green, as I’m twisted like a pretzel (this is why I do yoga) retrieving a dropped snack or toy in order to keep the baby from screaming. You can’t even imagine the chaos in my car. I’m guessing you don’t have kids.
- To the personnel at my local grocery store who decided to hang the for-sale reusable shopping bags over the checkout counter and in the direct path of the enormous 2 kid, car-like shopping cart, I guess it never occurred to you that every time I come through the aisle with that monstrosity of a cart, every single one of those shopping bags will be dislodged from their location and will scatter on the ground under and around me. It’s a super fun part of my shopping trip picking up those 15 bags as my 1 year old hurls herself out of the cart and my 4 year old hits the “cash back” for $100 option. I don’t want $100 in my diaper bag. Someone will inevitably use it as paper to throw away their old gum. But you wouldn’t know that because I’m guessing you don’t have kids.
It’s not that I’m judging someone for not having kids. It’s more of a plea for them to understand that what seems like a simple daily task to them may not feel like a simple daily task to me, a mother of two children under the age of four.
Or maybe all these people do have kids and they are able to more gracefully manage these simple daily tasks. I don’t know. What I do know is I’m blessed to encounter just as many people who reach out and lend a hand during these seemingly simple tasks. Have you ever encountered a moment where you have thought ” I’m guessing you don’t have kids”?
This is brilliant.
Don’t forget when a friend or family members call and says, “Do you want to meet for lunch in like 20 minutes?” when there’s an overtired 5 year old annoyed he can’t be loud because his brother’s napping, a dog that has eaten the comforter and a diaper bag that I’ve just remembered needs more wipes and diapers from our last outing debacle. Yeah, I don’t think you have kids.
Ha ha ha. So true Krystal. And your dog and mine are clearly partners in crime. I’ve definitely lost a comforter or two.