Hey New Mom: Go Ahead and Make Your Excuses


Hey new mom, go ahead and make your excuses. Welcome to this crazy, chaotic, beautiful club. Whether your baby or babies are healthy, recovering, or enduring an insane challenge no one should ever endure – we’re here. Go ahead, make your excuses, and cancel those plans.

If you’re like me, you’ve seen a lot of mom blogs and memes about friends just showing up in a new mom’s moment of need. As much as I’d love to say that will be me, it probably won’t, not without your consent. You’ll know if I’m coming your way. 

new mom cradling infant
Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

I remember the early days of hating my clothes, minimal shower time, and chaotic naps. I remember cringing at the thought of seeing people, of entertaining guests so they could see the baby. I also remember feeling moments of motivation and excitement where I’d make plans with friends or family, only to see the sleeping baby twitch and wake herself up to remind me I didn’t actually want to go anywhere, ever. I was wildly confusing to my husband, and he definitely didn’t understand. 

I’ve never been good at maintaining friendships. I don’t understand any of the social rules about calling times, gossip times, or setting dates for girls’ nights out. Sure- that all sounds great, like a Sweet Magnolias dream, but that’s never been me. 

Fast forward to being a new mom and I finally had the excuse I needed.

The excuse to respond to texts at 2 AM while nursing the baby, the excuse to forget to call back for two weeks, the excuse to bail on plans because the baby needed to nap longer. Is it right? Probably not in society’s view, but I’m here to tell you you’re definitely not alone if you see the most amazing and all-encompassing excuse in your new baby, and there’s more of us excuse-makers here for you. There are plenty of us that hope for someone else to cancel plans at the last minute because if they don’t, it means we have to change out of those four-day-old leggings and still-need-to-be-washed-sweatshirt. 

New mom cradling infant's head
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I am so thankful for the supportive moms I met along the way when I was a new mom who let me have my excuses without judgment.

To my best friends without kids that still love me even when we message weekly, or monthly. I will always be the mom friend that will drop everything, strap the kids to the car, I mean, in the car, and cross that border at a reasonable rate of speed to lend a new mom a helping hand.

The moral of my short story is stay home, snuggle, sleep- do whatever you need to do and want to do, not what you feel obligated to do. Use that new mom voice for yourself once in a while. 

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Mother cradling an infant

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Kelli Hier Pike
A born and raised Vermonter, Kelli got her Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from the University of Vermont, then joined the Vermont Air National Guard, where she met her husband. After that, she got her Master’s Degree in Digital Forensic Science from Champlain College. She and her husband and bought a house in the woods with 30+ acres of land to raise their two kids (4 and 2), three dogs, two cats, six chickens, and three guinea hens. Kelli stays home with her kids and pets while running her own wood crafting business, Tabor Ridge Designs, during nap-times. Kelli occasionally writes for her own mom blog, Calm Collected Mom, because we can all dream. She doesn't always think of herself as a writer, but she often has conversations with people over similar life frustrations and wants everyone to know that they're not alone. Life is full of irritations and annoyances, but Kelli thinks that we’ll get through it with a great story to tell afterward!


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