“The BVTMB is getting real this week about a sometimes taboo, but important topic…S-E-X!  Our team is sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly…and maybe the humorous and kinky too… about sex after kids in hopes that some of you can relate.”

But I Am Soooo Tired!

What happens after we have kids that makes sex seems like a job???

Come on ladies, I know I am not alone in this. I have secretly been conducting my own little survey amongst my friends and although the frequency seems to be all over the place one thing if for sure, at least for my friends, most could do without it and when they do have it, it is because their partner initiated it.

I love my husband and find him very attractive it’s just that I am just soooo tired all the time and feel like if I initiate physical contact it will turn into a long drawn out production and interfere with my cleaning time, laundry time, making dinner time, cleaning up after dinner time, Facebook time, TV time, reading time and most importantly sleep time.

In celebration of Valentines Day, I wanted to challenge myself to do better. I want to get to a place where I will initiate sex more and relax and actually enjoy it, rather than counting the minutes so I can go to sleep!

So I came up with some ideas and wanted to share them. Most of these are pretty obvious and are commonly found  in blogs and articles talking about spicing things up in your relationship after kids.

• Relax and enjoy it – There will always be more dishes, laundry and cleaning to do. Invest in time with your partner and the physical intimacy will put you in a better mood which can help you get all the other stuff done.

• Toys – Not the kind your kids play with. I used to be pretty self conscious about this and as my relationship with my partner has matured, I am so much more easy going about it. We have even gone shopping together a couple of times which can be a hysterical experience.

• Movies – Not the kind that you can watch while your kids are up. This one is especially true if your partner is a man. I am totally stereotyping here, but men like porn! I dare someone to challenge me on this one.

• Get adventurous – Try things you have not tried, but first make sure your partner is OK with it. Things could get ugly if your partner is not into getting tied up or blindfolded. Talk to your partner and set ground rules and then go crazy within the boundaries of those rules.

• Date – I know this one is the hardest one for me and my partner! We hardly ever go out without kids and get very little alone time together. On the rare occasion that we do make it out on our own, we are either too buzzed or too full to fool around. Plan your dates and make sure that the end of the night activities are part of the plan.

So I am challenging myself to try all or some of these this year (as long as they don’t interfere with my sleep! Ha!).

Who knows, maybe I will even turn into the sex loving girl I was before I had kids.