Today was a rough day. I was wrapped up in my own big emotions and stuck in a rut. While running errands, I stopped at one of our local stores to pick something up for ye ole crotch goblins. While I was there, it was like the heavens opened up, and a beam of light came down from the sky and illuminated a beautiful sky-blue can. It was at this moment that my life forever changed. I happily discovered Bob Ross Positive Energy Drinks.
The universe was obviously guiding me to this spot at this time. I desperately needed to get out of my funk and this Bob Ross Positive Energy Drink was going to help me.
I excitedly purchased the beverage with a hugely grinning Bob Ross on it and promptly ran home to refrigerate it. I also forgot about it for about three hours. When I finally remembered my positive energy mission, I excitedly cracked open the can and was met with an electric blue soda that smelled suspiciously like cough syrup. That usually isn’t a good sign, but I didn’t want to judge Bob Ross’ soda by its small or appearance, I wanted to judge purely on the contents of the can.
I swear to you, I could almost hear the whisper of happy little trees swaying in the breeze as I bravely took a large gulp of Bob Ross Positive Energy Drink. I immediately regretted my actions.
I resisted the urge to spit it out and persevered. This shit tastes so terrible that it is a disgrace to Bob Ross. It is also a disgrace to energy drinks. If rancid Red Bull and UV Blue Vodka had a baby and left it to stew in the sun for a while, I would imagine that it would taste exactly like this, if you brushed your teeth before you drank it. Except, at least that concoction would get you drunk, while this gag-inducing libation only left me with a horrible aftertaste.
I cannot tell you how terrible this stuff is. The only thing it has going for it is the 100mg of caffeine that it will supply you with if you’re able to choke the entire can down which I did. Then I waited.
You guys. If you can get past the taste of robot piss, this stuff is FANTASTIC! I can’t feel my face. My lips are tingly. My veins are buzzing. I am certain I can now tell you the future and all of the secrets of the universe.
This isn’t just a positive energy drink. This stuff is a gateway to a happy new dimension.
So. Much. Energy. The only time when I feel more glorious is when I wear my Three Wolf Moon shirt.
All in all, if you don’t have taste buds, you have $2.00 and you need excessive amounts of energy and the ability to hear in color, this energy drink is for you. However, if all of your senses are fully functioning, this may not be the beverage you’re looking for.
Have you tried the Bob Ross Positive Energy Drink? Let us know in the comments what you think of this drink!
Want to improve your energy without drinking an energy drink? Try Feng Shui: Using Chinese Medicine to Create Good Energy in Your Home!
You can also boost the positivity of those around you by Sending Positive Messages Through Our Children’s Clothing!
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