Ye Gentle Vermonter


This post is dedicated to the bearded well dressed man I saw walking up Main Street with two handfuls of litter.  I’m thinking UVM professor on his way home from class, scholarly looking fellow, cheerfully handling other people’s garbage for the sake of a clean walk home.

I love you, all of you.  I’m an outsider and from what I hear, will be for life.  What is it, three generations make a true Vermonter?  I love it here so much that I’m willing to put my time in for the sake of my grandkids.  I figured you may like to hear how this Texas/Georgia/Jersey girl finds you unique.  After all, you are waaaaay on up here, smugly removed from the fray that is, well, the other States.  I asked some kindred outsiders to give me their observations of what sets this great state apart.  Here is what we came up with.

  • The ratio of people who own bikes and dogs must be 10:1.
  • The best thing about Burlington is that it’s near Vermont.
  • There are a lot of white people here.


  • At the polls last week the word “marijuana” was on the ballot twice.  The United States Marijuana Party, anyone?
  • It’s ok to duct tape your shoes if they have holes in them.
  • You should never ever, under any circumstances, shop at Wal-Mart (which I don’t.  I’m just saying, I’ve heard other people do.  But I don’t.  Where is it, anyway?).
  • You eat kale. A lot. Because it’s the trendy vegetable.  You have trendy vegetables.
  • You definitely know someone with a beard.
  • When someone asks for directions you say things like, “you can’t get there from here.”
  • You graciously and intentionally do not notice the person who didn’t bring their reusable shopping bags.
  • You make Toms look stylish.

  • You call the high cost of living here a “luxury tax.”
  • If you are a parent, you don’t do the following:
Feed your kids French fries.
Buy your kids toys that require batteries.
Let your kids chase the seagulls.
  • If you are a parent, you do the following:
Dress your girls in dresses with pants under them. And Keen sandals.
Dress your boys in their sisters’ hand me downs. And Keen sandals.
Feed your toddler edamame.
Wear your baby in an Ergo carrier.
Oh, and you are so much more!  I love your self-awareness and sense of civic duty.  You are peace loving and gentle, principled yet tolerant, and have no use for brutish games like football (my husband weeps for the violent days).  Thank you for being a soft landing pad for our family.  Tell me what other things make Vermont unique!


  1. Love this!! Just read any local Vermont police-blotter for more! Haha! I kid you not, my favorite Waterbury ones were: a cow blocking traffic and the report of a lost backpack at the park. That’s about as exciting as it gets around here, and that’s the way we like it! 🙂

  2. I would have to say that’s a fair assumption of Vermonter’s. However, after reading your list i think I’ve been away long enough to qualify as an outsider. Hilarious! Loved it!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here