We all do it. As women and as mothers it seems we are constantly comparing ourselves and our lives against one another. Comparing ourselves as moms, our children, our marriages, our jobs, our looks, our houses, and the list could go on an on.
If I am not careful I can find myself constantly feeling the burden of a nagging sense of inadequacy and feeling that I just. fall. short.
I don’t bake enough with my kids. I let them watch too much TV. I’m not as crafty as that mom. I don’t read enough to my children. My home isn’t as clean as hers. I can’t seem to look like that after having children- how can she? I don’t get to spend as much time with my children. Why does her baby sleep through the night and mine doesn’t?
Or I can swing to the opposite side and sit in judgement over other moms, although I may never readily admit this.
MY child would never behave like that! Why does she always give him what he wants? She puts them to bed way too late. It seems like she never even sees her kids! My child knows way more words than she does. I don’t know how she can stand her house being that messy. She didn’t breastfeed past 6 months…that is terrible for her baby. How selfish!
All of this comparing can zap us of our joy and leave us with little compassion for others.
We need to stop comparing and start encouraging one another. We need to remember that all of us are unique individuals and are, therefore, unique mothers. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, different passions and directions, different philosophies and opinions, and that is OK!
If we spent less time comparing and more time encouraging and embracing one another as mothers I am confidant that we would all find motherhood a much more joyful experience as we find ourselves not having to strive to attain some “perfect mother” goal and instead embrace who we are as mothers, imperfections and all.
And just for some laughs, here is a funny youtube video about “mompetition”.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSEPA6TIgzc]
Great blog post Nissa. Her poor kids would be vomiting all day. My kids like to eat goldfish at all meals and twice between meals on Sundays.
Thanks Jenny! Yes goldfish get devoured around our house too 🙂
Well said! This topic has been on my mind lately, and I’m thankful that you were able to articulate it so well. Truly, “mompetition” (I like that word 🙂 ) does no one any good.
OMG! Hilarious video! “My kids like goldfish crackers.” AMEN!
And as far as comparing vs empowering, I totally agree with what you said, Nissa! Great post!!
Thanks Mauranda! The video had me literally crying 🙂
“My kids like goldfish crackers.” “That would make my kids want to vomit.” Great!
Christin, that part made me laugh really hard because Nora loves goldfish 🙂
Love this, Nissa! And the video was hilarious!
Thank you!
I talk about this all the time! I hate that moms are in competition with one another. And that video is too funny. “Holy Sh*t, do you know how disease works?” That made me LOL!
Yes it’s something that I really dislike too! And that was my favorite part of the video as well…I was laughing so hard I was crying 🙂