A Secret Sisterhood

It’s bid day and I’ve just been accepted to join you in this secret society known as motherhood.  Yes, I knew that mothers existed prior to becoming one but did I also know about the strong society and bond that encompasses them?  Absolutely not.  Why didn’t anyone tell me!?

Maybe it’s one of those, “you don’t know until you are there” things, which I’ve also recently learned is like the phrase, “they grow up so fast” (I had no idea how actually true this statement was until I became a mother).  Those phrases have no meaning until you are standing, literally or figuratively, ankle deep in baby puke, tears, or other any other messy goodness that accompanies this role.

Actually, now that I think about it there is a lot I did not know…  I digress.

So, thank you.  I accept the challenge.  I accept the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, and the tears of frustration and joy that come with this initiation into what we all know as “the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me,” also known as becoming a mom.

It truly is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me but there is so much more about me to share with you.  So let’s start at the beginning.  Well, maybe the middle.

Born and raised in the suburbs of Washington, D.C., I am a first generation Iranian-American.  I grew up somewhere between the old traditions of my Persian roots and the expectations a child has about being an everyday kid in the U.S.  I love Persian rice and French fries, just not together.  I went to college in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia at James Madison University, where I met some of my dearest friends and developed the passionate beliefs I hold about the world today.  The summer after my sophomore year I went to Florence, Italy to “study” (I think you all know why that is in quotes).  I was barely there a week when I met this Midwestern American guy who was traveling with a friend.  We walked the streets of Florence that night and exchanged emails when it was finally time to part at 6am for my morning class.  Our love for each other grew quickly and intensely, like wildfire in a dry forest.  Less than a year after I graduated college, that man became my husband.  He is the love of my life, my better half.

I’ve been asked many times how in the world a gal from Virginia and a guy from Minnesota, who met in Italy, ended up in Vermont?  To be honest, some days I’m still not so sure how it happened either.  Here is what I recall…Something about starting our marriage in “neutral” territory where Grant could get a good job and I could find a graduate program.  We looked at a map and each firmly stated where we would not live.  The west coast was too far from my family, the southern east coast posed no appeal for him, and so it went.  Neither of us had been to Vermont but it met our criteria.  So the wheels were put into motion and we found ourselves newly married, no family or friends, in a rented condo in South Burlington.  It was the first compromise in our marriage.

I will not lie.  It was hard.  Very hard.  Moving to a new place where the only person you know is your new husband is not easy, especially when you are someone who craves constant contact with people.  How many of you can relate?

It took time but we started to meet people and sow seeds in this community.  In fact, I think we are still trying to nourish the roots we put down here.  We bought a house, then a dog, and then another dog.  After a few years of marriage we were ready to grow our nest.  We loved Vermont and knew it was a great place to raise a family.  For some people getting pregnant is nearly as easy as saying it aloud.  For us, it took time and patience (two things I struggle with daily).  Our son Aedan was born in May of 2012.  He was so tiny (5 weeks tiny, in fact) and so very amazing.  He had our hearts instantly.

Today, I am first and foremost a mom.  Aren’t we all?  I love Aedan with every part of me.  Many days, it feels like all I am is a mom.  I bet many of you feel that way too.    Now I do not mean that in a negative way.  But we are all something besides mothers.  We are wives, friends, career women, crafters, and so forth.  I love to pretend I’m a crafty person (sometimes I actually convince myself!).  I volunteer.  I’m a wife.  A sister.  I work full-time for an amazing children’s advocacy organization with some of the most passionate mothers I’ve ever met.  I crochet.  I love coffee and wine.  I enjoy reading.  *Okay so I also enjoy some trashy television from time to time but shhh don’t tell*  It is easy to forget that so many things define who we are when the majority of our days consist of waking up, rushing out the door, working (in home or out of the home), rushing home just in time to feed and put a baby to sleep, and then finally collapsing from exhaustion.  I want to do well in all of my roles, but it isn’t easy.  I know I fail a little in at least one of my roles each day.  I don’t like to fail, so this is hard for me.  I want to do it all, have it all.  Maybe I can and will.  I know I will at least do my best.

Again, thank you for accepting me into this secret sisterhood.  Becoming a mom has connected me with so many new and wonderful people.  By simply being a mother I have formed strong bonds in and with this community.  I feel so much love and support from the mommy world and boy do I need it most days.  It is amazing to have this group of women at my side.

So here I am in all my glory.  I will do my best to tell you the truth about the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, and the tears of frustration and joy that come with this initiation into what we all know as “the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me:” becoming a mama.