“Santa Is Watching” and other empty threats

Sugar Season started. You know, sugar season?

It kicks off with Halloween where you send your kids around to other homes begging for food and ends with Easter where you tell them that a bunny came and left them a basket of chocolate. In between you’ve got your smattering of pies and cakes and cookies and chocolates that accompany all of the winter holidays and let’s not underestimate Valentine’s Day with it’s candy hearts that are literally just died sugar-do they even taste like anything?

I have completely surrendered to any sort of order I can make of the whole thing… limits, boundaries, bottom lines… when it comes to this time of year. It’s just so hard to reason with my little darlings. I mean, the temptation of the sugary madness is so high. Plus, on some days I say it’s fine to eat pie for breakfast and on others not so much? It barely makes sense. To children. To me it’s crystal clear.

FYI: Pie for breakfast is acceptable the day after Thanksgiving.

Now, take all this sugar and add in the promise of shiny new things. And parties. And staying up late with all of their cousins and children become, well, less than amazing. It’s completely unfair. We are basically setting them up to fail. I know this, and I do give them a lot of patience and leeway during these tragic times, but there are times when it’s time to reinstate order. And when that happens I turn to the only parenting strategy that has never worked for any of us.

Empty threats.

I know you do it to. Some days it works and some days it doesn’t, but most days it’s all we’ve got. You can use these for the upcoming holidays and next years trick or treating.

Say there is a crazy case of sibling rivalry happening. Feel free to use any of the following:

1. “Maybe you would prefer to hand out candy instead of going trick or treating yourselves?”
2. “Your behavior is showing me you can’t handle any dessert after Thanksgiving Dinner.”
3. “What do you think Santa will think about how you’re treating each other? It would be a shame to get coal in your stocking!”

Or perhaps, your youngest child is on a bedtime strike. Please see below:

1. “If you can’t show me that you are able to go to bed then I guess you won’t be able to stay up late to trick or treat on Halloween.”
2. “You don’t want to go on Santa’s ‘naughty list’ do you?”

Or maybe your tween’s attitude could use a little more gratitude, in which case:

1. “It sounds like you will be doing your trick or treating with me and your little sister instead of with your friends.”
2. “I think we’ll be spending our Thanksgiving at the local Food Shelf, so you can learn a little something!”
3. “Santa is not real, so don’t expect anything from him.” (Too far? Maybe.)

In all seriousness, I often have to remind myself (and my husband) that this time of year is really hard for kids. The emotional roller coaster has some serious highs and lows and although we certainly want our kids to be kind and cooperative and lovely, there are bound to be some days where they just lose their marbles! I’m not going to lie to you and say I never use some of these empty threats, I do. A lot. Probably too much.

But I also think it’s important to remember a little extra patience and understanding can make the holidays a little more manageable.