The tragedy that unfolded at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut is heart-wrenching, to say the least. What the parents of those 20 young victims have to endure is literally something that I can not imagine. What the family of the 6 hero’s have to go through is also unimaginable. I’m thinking of them, praying for them and hoping for them.
The angels and heros who are now watching over us are…
Charlotte Bacon, 6 | Daniel Barden, 7 | Olivia Engel, 6 | Josephine Gay, 7
Ana Marquez-Greene, 6 | Dylan Hockley, 6 | Madeline Hsu, 6 | Catherine Hubbard, 6
Chase Kowalski, 7 | Jesse Lewis, 6 | James Mattioli, 6 | Grace McDonnell, 7
Emilie Parker, 6 | Jack Pinto, 6 | Noah Pozner, 6 | Caroline Previdi, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6 | Avielle Richman, 6 | Benjamin Wheeler, 6 | Allison Wyatt, 6
Rachel Davino, 29 | Dawn Hochsprung, 47 | Anne Marie Murphy, 52
Lauren Rousseau, 30 | Mary Sherlach, 56 | Victoria Soto, 27
Words can not express how breathtakingly sad I have been since I picked up my phone shortly before 2pm on Friday afternoon, only to see those horrible words with a quick description on what had happened in a news alert. Behind that news alert is the wallpaper of my phone. A picture of my husband and I’s two young children. Inside, I fell apart. Outside, I had to be strong because those 2 precious children were in the car with me. Besides the immediate thoughts running through my head of “This can’t be true!”, “It must be a mistake!” and “Those poor kids and parents!!!”, there were also questions of “Why would anyone do this?” and “How could this happen?”. I was also suddenly selfishly thinking “I don’t know how to live in a world like this” and “I don’t know how to raise kids in a world like this”.
After arriving home, getting the kids down for an extremely late nap and attempts at preparing myself for what I was about to see, I opened up my laptop to check the news online. There it was. It did happen. It wasn’t a mistake. And the news was getting worse. There were more victims than I had originally heard about. They were babies. 6-7 years old. The adults were hero’s who literally lost their lives to save kids.
Between the tears and sobbing for those kids, those faculty members and the parents, families and friends of those who are now gone, I began to have conflicting feelings. As much as I admired those adults at that school for being the hero’s that they were, I , again selfishly, kept questioning “How can I ever send my girls to school”?
Later that day, I heard of gunshots at a mall in California. Luckily, from what I have heard, no one was injured. The next morning, I heard of a shooting outside a movie theater in Texas. I believe 2 people were injured in this incident. Then I started thinking “How can I bring the girls to a mall again? Or to a movie theater?”.
This is happening too often. There have been many sad, horrific crimes that have happened in malls, movie theaters, and even schools that were once a safe haven for children. We all know these true-life horror stories. We have all wept with the victims and their families. We all agree that this has to stop.
No matter your beliefs on what needs to be done to stop these crimes from happening, no matter what your stance on gun control, mental illness, or other movements to put a stop to the current events, for now – its happening. This is the world we live in. This is the world that we are raising kids in. And quite frankly, I don’t know how to live in this world, or raise kids in this world.
Obviously, our hearts and thoughts are with those in Connecticut. They will be for some time. We will all feel a pain that is miles a part from the pain that those family members of the victims will feel. None of us can truly imagine what they are faced with day in and day out. At the same time, we need to start focusing on how we can help each other as Moms of the communities we live in. We need to support each other on how to live in this world. And most importantly, we need to support each other on how to raise our children in this world while protecting them, but not sheltering them from an enjoyable life that is out there.
Am I the only one feeling this way?
It’s mindblowing to me that you can just drop your child off at school and never pick them up again. I cannot imagine what these families are going through- likewise with the folks who just went to work that day and never came home. It makes saying I love you to those you care about so much more important- it’s easy to forget but it could mean so much. http://ramblingstump.blogspot.com/2012/12/remembering-to-say-i-love-you.html
I’m right there with you! I feel like every where we go I’m on high alert. I used to be able to tell myself we live in a small, safe, town. That doesn’t even matter anymore. Sending my boys to school is painful every day. I’m not sure it will ever be normal again. I don’t know what to do other than breathe and have faith in the good people. There are more of us than the bad people. I have to believe that and hold tight.