I miss being pregnant. I loved it. And I recall thinking, after giving birth, I wanted to have a second child right away. Then my sanity returned to me, and we decided to have our children 5 years apart. It seemed reasonable and practical. By that point we would have a house not an apartment, better jobs with more money and more room.

Then all of a sudden, our daughter was 4. We had the same apartment, same jobs and only slightly more money. Thoughts of another child vanished. How can we responsibly do this?

We can’t.

I want to give my child life experiences not just life. Heck, I want to have experiences. So many thoughts whirled in my mind…daycare and diapers and mini vans, oh my! Is it possible to love more than one child? How will I spend time with both? I finally had my body back. We will need a bigger vehicle. Can we afford this? Do we have the space?

Nope.

One year ago I decided (we decided) not to have another child.

I’d give her my everything. She’s my baby girl. I gave away most of our baby stuff; away went the baby swing, bath tub, clothes I didn’t like and the crib mattress. Some things remain like a crib, stroller and clothes that still make me say “awww.”

Today, my daughter is almost 7. She continues to ask for a sister to play with. What do you want for your birthday? Christmas? Her answer is often the same – a sister. This spring, we saved the wishbone from a roasted chicken we had for dinner. After a few days of drying on the window sill, we each made a wish and pulled the wishbone apart. Abby got the bigger piece. I said her wish would come true. She smiled brightly at me and said, “I wished for a baby to be in your belly.”

Oh.

I celebrated my 30th birthday in March. At my birthday party, my sister pulled me aside to say she was pregnant. The baby fantasies started. The Baby Bump. Will it be a boy or girl? What should the name be? Pinterest Boards of maternity fashion and baby gear.

Oh dear!

I’m getting the maternal feeling again. It’s now or never.

I choose now. We will try for another baby. This time next year, I might be holding my newborn son or daughter. And I will love it. If it doesn’t happen, that’s okay too. It will be decided for me to have one and only. And I will continue to love my baby girl with all my heart.

You ask, should
we have a second child?

My answer is there will never be the “right” time to have another child. If there is any thought about having more, just do it. And in the end, all the questions about love, space, time and money work itself out.