Mother’s Day Is the Saddest Day of the Year


Mother’s Day is the saddest day of the year for me.

I am a motherless mother and, for me, Mother’s Day is just a reminder of that fact. Even having children of my own, who I love and adore, and who treat me so special on Mother’s Day, the day is just not the same because I’m continuously reminded that my own mother is not here to celebrate. Mother’s Day is the saddest day, and when I hear my friends planning what they are going to do with their mothers, it stings deeply. You see, my mom was my best friend.

I know many people say that, but my mom was actually my best friend.

She was the one person who knew everything about me. The person I called when something sad, happy, exciting, or even mundane occurred. I am guilty of canceling plans with friends to do something with my mom because she was my person and I truly preferred her company above anyone else. This is not a knock on any of my friends, but rather a testament to how close I was to my mother. We spoke at least once a day and texted each other various times throughout the day.

I look at my oldest daughter and see so much of my mother in her.

My oldest daughter looks like her and she has her attitude. When her jaw drops from excitement or surprise, I see my mother. When she is sassy and stubborn, I feel my mother’s presence. When she hugs me and tells me we will be best friends forever, I know that my mom is with me. I also have a baby girl who my mom never got to meet. I often look at my baby’s huge smile and think about how much my mom would love to hold her and make her giggle.

Recently, I had some downtime, and more than anything else, I wanted to call my mom. I wanted to talk to her about nothing and everything, about how I was cleaning the countertop and how the baby was pulling at my leg, suddenly wanting to be held all the time. I wanted to tell her how I made a creamy spinach tortellini dish over the weekend and she had to try it. I wanted to gossip about the latest Housewives of Beverly Hills and how I love the free spirit and big attitude of the newest housewife. She would’ve agreed and said how she was classy and sexy all in one.

We would’ve laughed and then texted each other later to see if anything new happened in the two hours since we last spoke.

It is those minute, silly, insignificant, yet so significant moments that I miss the most. I lost my person… and Mother’s Day is the saddest reminder of my massive loss.

A photo collage of Stephanie and her mom for Mother's Day.

I am not just sad because my mom is missing my children’s lives.

It’s much more selfish. I feel abandoned. I have lost the person who loved me unconditionally, no matter what I said or did, and who would love me more each day than the last. I lost someone whose greatest accomplishment was her children, and I was one of the two. I lost the person whose world revolved around mine.

So, as Mother’s Day approaches, I dread it. Mother’s Day is the saddest day for me. I know I should take the opportunity to do something positive or embrace the fact that I get to be a mother myself, but the one thing about grief is that you can’t control it. It’s never going to get better as many suggest. I’ve learned to embrace it and let myself feel it.

This post goes out to all of those mothers who are also motherless. I feel you. I get you. And I say, feel all of the feelings. Don’t put on a happy face because you feel like you have to. You do you, and know that you are not alone.

Read more reflections on Mother’s Day from our team:

Do you have a complicated relationship with Mother’s Day? Share your story and feelings in the comments, and know that you are not alone.

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Mother's Day Is the Saddest Day of the Year

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Guest Writer: Stephanie Witty

Stephanie is a mom to three girls and a wifey for over 10 years. She’s a high school English and Theater teacher. Stephanie loves to exercise, shop, cook, and watch all the Housewives shows on Bravo.


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