Someone once told me that from the moment your child is born, from the euphoria, joy, unconditional love, tireless devotion and selfless commitment, you begin letting them go. As I sit here a week into my daughters first kindergarten experience, I am beginning to understand exactly what that means.
I ask myself, have I prepared her enough for kindergarten?
Will she make new friends? Is this school system best for her? How will she handle adversity and challenges? Will she keep talking to me and asking me questions, especially the more challenging ones? How will our family grow and change?
I found myself trying to pack as much fun into this summer as humanly possible because I knew she was beginning a new journey. A journey leading to self discovery and impacting the person she will ultimately become. I wanted her to experience a summer of true wonder, magic and freedom that all five year olds should. I packed it full of activities and our family was exhausted by the end! The truth is, I have mixed emotions as I send her off to Kindergarten. I am saddened as school begins because I know her childlike innocence will begin to fade. I am also excited and hopeful Kindergarten will inspire her, teach her and challenge her. Most importantly, it is no longer in my control. The more she learns and grows, the more she will begin to learn the realities of life. Of what it really means to be a women, sister, friend and daughter. Watching her grow into herself will be both fascinating and frightening I am sure. Although her journey to find herself will take many years, I will continue to ask if I have prepared her enough?
The answer to my question is…YES! I have prepared her, as well as I could.
I tell myself that there will be plenty more opportunities along the way to insert my support, guidance and continued love for her. Through leading by example I can model the traits I value. By remaining present and constant in her life, I can be mentally available to her and best support her through the stages of life. I will guide her to the best of my ability, knowing I may not always be perfect, nor will she. I did my best and she will be fine. I am also reminded and relieved I was not alone on this person shaping journey. Our circle of friends, family and pre-school teachers have all been preparing her, inspiring her, teaching her, challenging her and ultimately effecting and shaping the person she is today. My circle of friends and family will also be present and constant in her life and I am ever so grateful for them!
As I watch her grow, I must grow and adapt… and let her go a little more with each passing day. I understand more of what that means now, and I look forward to every moment!
Written by Tara
Hi, I am Tara. I am a middle aged momma of two amazing little girls and happily married to my husband for the past 7 years. I am by definition a ‘flatlander’ however I have happily called VT my home for almost 20 years now. We feel fortunate to be raising our daughters in such a beautiful place. I have a lifelong love of art, especially pottery. I love biking, tennis, yoga and snowshoeing. I try to learn from each life experience through reflection and self awareness. Writing gives me a way to process my thoughts as a grow as a women, daughter, friend, mother and wife. I am a spiritual person striving to balance my fundamental nature in our ever evolving, inward focused, digital world. Thanks for reading my blog! I hope it inspires you in some way!