BurlingtonVT Moms Blog is partnering with Northeastern Reproductive Medicine to bring you our latest series titled “Lullaby Wishes: raising infertility awareness.” 1 in 8 couples suffer from infertility and yet the subject is often not openly discussed and seems to carry a stigma. Through this series we hope to open the dialogue and help women battling through infertility know that they are not alone. Thank you to the courageous women who have chosen to share their stories as part of this series, as we know that this topic is often deeply personal and difficult to discuss. Our desire is that those reading this series will find encouragement in the hope and beauty that is weaved into these stories of heartache, loss and love.
Infertility Awareness: Amie’s Story
I’ve never seen that “+” or double blue line so many of my friends have spoken about.
You know, the ones you see on commercials or in movies, where newly expecting couples get to share in that first moment of joy? That moment that they tried say one, two, or even four or five pleasurable months to achieve??
It had been over a year and test after test showed up negative. I had been charting my temperature and mapping out every scenario to make sure each month was timed just right and STILL. Nothing.
Romantic, isn’t it?
I ended up on a fertility tracking website and was lucky enough to find other women that were living their own little confusing nightmares. These strangers became my daily therapy as I struggled to figure out what was wrong. Why something that seemed to come so easily to everyone else wasn’t happening to me. Why the very thing I’ve wanted to be – a mom – felt so out of reach.
I was relieved when my OB suggested we visit a reproductive endocrinologist. I brought my folder of charts and my ever so supportive husband and we started on our new path, with new hope.
Little did we know this “path” would be a full-on roller coaster. We had such highs (So many beautiful follicles! The meds are working!) and lows (fifth insemination failed). I will never forget that moment that my doctor looked at me and said it was time for IVF. For some reason I never thought it would get to that, and couldn’t help but feel like my body had failed me.
After a good cry, I picked myself up and we put plans into place to move forward with IVF. The hefty price tag required us to figure out how we were going to pay – up front – for all that was ahead. I needed to work with my employer to get approval for daily doctor appointments for ultrasounds and blood draws. I needed to learn how to administer multiple daily injections since my husband would be traveling for work during some of the treatment. I would have to undergo surgery for the removal of my eggs once they were “ready”. On top of all of that, we would have to deal with the fear that when it was all said and done, we could receive even more horrible news.
Can I tell you that my husband is amazing? Seriously. He was by my side throughout it all (if not physically, emotionally), and without his support and smile and extremely positive attitude, it would have been unbearable. People say that struggles like infertility can make or break a marriage. I am thankful that we came out stronger than ever in the end.
And just as amazing? I got pregnant with my son that very first attempt. He is now 3.5 years old and every single day I look at him in awe. Our twin daughters just turned one and though it took several rounds of IVF to conceive them, their giggles and smiles are a reminder that everything is possible.
To you moms out there that don’t yet have your baby, my wish is that reading this gives you hope.
Know that you are a mom in my eyes – loving that baby that you want so very badly that may or may not ever be in your arms. You are brave and you are strong and you are not a failure.
Build your “village” and surround yourself with people that support you.
A quote posted on my RE’s Facebook page recently resounds with me:
“Keep the faith. The most amazing things in life tend to happen right at the moment you’re about to give up hope”.
Northeastern Reproductive Medicine is graciously sponsoring our ‘’Lullaby Wishes: Raising Infertility Awareness” series…and we would not have it any other way! We are passionate about all that they are doing for women and couples in our community, and we encourage you to contact them to help in your journey to becoming a mother too.
To learn more about Northeastern Reproductive Medicine or schedule an appointment, please contact ::
1 (802) 655-8888
or
info {at} nrmvt {dot} com
Written by Amie Davis
I met my husband Jay at flight school in Phoenix (he was my ground school instructor!), and lived there for eleven years before deciding to return to Vermont in 2014 to raise our family. We are enjoying our move to the country on 5 acres in Georgia with our beautiful children Edward (3.5), Fiona (1), Harriet (1) and ten crazy chickens! When I have time to myself, I enjoy sewing, reading, and yoga.
