So… writing for a Mom’s Blog. Not exactly one of the things that landed on my ‘Bucket List’ of things to do before I die. But here I find myself, writing a post. So I dedicate this post to all the dad’s that are out there… here we go!
We just recently had a baby, as some of you might know. (Not that you keep up with my personal life, but that I’m married to one of the founders of this blog.) As we speak, or should I say, as you read this post, Miss lil’ Maggie Grace is turning exactly 3 weeks old. And, as we are coming out of the walking coma of new-born life, I have rediscovered something that I’m afraid to say I had forgotten… “10 Ways to Innocently & Unknowingly Annoy, Disappoint, Insult and [out right] P–S OFF those around us who just gave birth”:
1. Agree to whatever difficulty she’s communicating to you with the statement: “I understand what you’re going through.”
2. Wake her up out of a sound sleep to tell her you think the baby may have pooped.
3. Ask her to turn the pump machine volume down because a new episode of Law & Order just came on.
4. Ask her in the middle of the night (sarcastically) if you can help breast feed the child.
5. Wake up in the morning and ask her how she slept.
6. Ask her if she minds if you go out with your friends to relax.
7. Ask her if she can do you a favor when she gets a free moment.
8. When you return from working all day, ask her what she did all day long.
9. When listening to her talk through her emotions about how everything in life is never going to be the same again, you attempt to end the conversation with, “It all going to be ok.”
10. After she wakes up multiple times per night to care for the child you helped produce, you sleep through your alarm going off 3 or 4 times… and then ask her why she’s mad.
If any of these offended you, just be glad you’re not married to me. If you didn’t find any of these funny, just wait… your time is coming. They are funny, cause they are true. As hard as we try, sometimes we just say things we don’t intend. I hope that you pass these on to those who are on the horizon of having kids. Hopefully they can learn from my mistakes. Maybe in the future I can impart my second ounce of wisdom: “10 Ways to seek Forgiveness (when you didn’t even know you were offending them)”. Stay tuned!
[typography font=”Delius Swash Caps” size=”18″ size_format=”px”]Written by Robin Sutphen[/typography]
I grew up in the New North End until my parents moved us south for medical and income reasons. I just recently moved back into the area. During my journeys, I met the most amazing woman and married her as quick as I could. We now have two kids, Nora & Maggie, and I run the Boloco on Church Street in my spare time.
Good advice. Now, how can we get more men reading this thing? 🙂
This is hilarious. And so true.