June is Pride month, and I love celebrating my queerness with my queer and trans community. Celebrating Pride as a queer mom is a whole new wonderful way to experience my identity and my community.
Now that I’m a mom and in my 40s, Pride is a lot less about late-night dance parties and drag shows and more about daytime fun. While rights and positive representation for queer and trans people have improved exponentially in my lifetime, our rights are always under attack.
Pride is important to share in community and solidarity with other LGBTQ+ people, to celebrate where we are, and to work together towards a more inclusive future.
I want my kid to know that her family is one of many loving, safe, and supportive LGBTQ+ families. We are extremely fortunate to live in a fantastic gayborhood where she has many neighbors who are queer and trans people. She knows the local drag queens that lead Vermont Drag Story Hour and loves to identify them on my t-shirt. As she gets older, we’ll tell her more of the history of Pride, how it started as a riot, and how we have to work to make sure that Pride continues to be safe and welcoming- and AVAILABLE- for all LGBTQ+ people.
Celebrating Pride as a queer mom means I want my daughter to learn about the diversity of our communities, the strength we gain from our identities and each other, and the freedom in loving who you are.
As my daughter grows, our family Pride celebrations will grow as well. Celebrating Pride as a queer mom is special to me. Here are a few ways we’ve celebrated as a family with a young child.
Baby Phase
My kiddo was born in spring 2019, so her first Pride was spent at home with us adjusting to newborn life. We didn’t make it to any celebrations but we did dress her in a lot of rainbow outfits, including the “I <3 My Moms” onesie I painted for her. We also read board books about queer families.
In June 2020, Pride festivals were canceled due to COVID-19, so we had mini Pride in our backyard. I dyed rice noodles rainbow colors with food coloring (I likely learned this from Busy Toddler’s Instagram page but I can’t remember) so our 1 year old could have a sensory activity on theme. She and the cats loved it and many noodles were eaten. And strewn all over the floor. I would take noodles over glitter, so it’s OK.
This year, we had a backyard picnic with another family and ate rainbow cupcakes. I pretended that walking around the neighborhood with my kid in a rainbow dress and me in a rainbow shirt was a Pride parade.
Toddler and Little Kid Phase
Once Pride celebrations started happening again post-2020, my wife and I have taken her to local celebrations here in Vermont. In 2021 we watched the parade at the Pride Vermont festival in Burlington. All little kids love waving flags, and a kid with a pride flag is adorable. She was annoyed she couldn’t join the parade but had a fun time looking at all the people nonetheless.
For the past 2 years, celebrating Pride as a queer mom has meant that my wife and I have been on the board of the Essex Pride festival. My recommendation for any parents organizing Pride is to get a babysitter. We did, but I should have listened to my spouse and got the sitter for longer.
The sitter allowed us to work the festival without having to worry about what our kid was doing. We brought her headphones as she doesn’t like loud noises, and that first year she spent mostly on the playground but did get a picture with her favorite drag queens and enjoyed the pizza truck. This year, we got to the park several hours before the parade and festival started, so by that time, she was ready for our amazing babysitter to take her home. She missed out on the actual fun but she did not miss naptime. Next year we’ll try a combo- having the babysitter stay at home with her until later, then she can come to the event and enjoy the performances.
When she’s older, we can talk about the times her moms helped plan our city’s first Pride festivals and I hope she feels proud of us.
All of that to say- celebrating Pride as a queer mom means having a game plan for what your kid will enjoy, estimating how long they have until they tire themselves out, and having someone who’s going to help you manage them are all key.
Booths and vendors at Pride tend to give away things that little kids love, like stickers or stretchy rainbow bracelets. I saw many kids happily covered in stickers enjoying Pride. It was a joy to see so many families enjoying themselves and seeing our local LGBTQ+ community celebrating. One family told me it was their kid’s first Pride being themselves, and I know many others were having that experience as well. Isn’t that the meaning of Pride?
The more we take kids to Pride and other events celebrating marginalized identities, the more they will embrace and celebrate their future selves and their friends. Celebrating Pride as a queer mom means thinking about supporting my child and others.
Many Pride events have family-friendly activities, spaces, and foods. Essex Pride had an area with yard games, and some local preschoolers created (with the help of their amazing teachers) affirming signs that lined the path toward the festival. Checking your local Pride’s social media can help you decide what will be fun for everyone in your family, especially the younger, needier members.
If you have more energy than me, maybe you’ll even get a babysitter to go to a drag show after Pride. Or maybe your kid will be in the drag show! A dad of one of the performers at Essex Pride was an amazing volunteer for us during setup, and then got to enjoy the show.
How have you and your family celebrated Pride? What suggestions do you have for celebrating Pride as a queer mom? Will my kid acknowledge my existence or deign to hang out with me at Pride when she’s a teenager?
Pin this post and be sure to follow Vermont Moms on Pinterest!
Vermont Moms Insiders get exclusive content, so sign up today!
