Hi. I’m a C+ parent and I’m good with that.
Sometimes on my parenting assignments I get an A. Like when my kids “sneak” raw green beans that I’m prepping for dinner because they love them, so I go ahead and Instagram that crap. And sometimes I get an F. Like every freakin’ Tuesday when it’s my daughters share day, but I totally forget until she gets off the bus and says, “mom, you forgot my share day again! I’m running out of things in my backpack.” I figure that averages out to about a C+.
There are many things that make us good moms. So many. Maybe your daughter tells you as you snuggle her to bed that she loves you so much and just wishes she could snuggle closer. Maybe according to your son, your peanut butter sandwiches are better than your partners. Maybe your kid doesn’t want a real blanket, he just needs a “mommy blanket” in the middle of the night to make him feel better. Maybe your magical kisses cure bumps, bruises and scrapes. I have no idea what kind of crazy skills you bring to the parenting table.
I’m pretty sure you bring your A game a lot.
There are also some things we choose to do as parents that we should not get graded on. They are just things we choose to do because they make sense in our brains and for our families. As parents we become passionate about these things and we feel it necessary to espouse our beliefs like Tom Cruise spreading the word of Scientology. Here’s the thing: That’s crap. You are free to feel as strongly as you want to about anything, but the minute you start making someone else feel bad for having a different opinion, you’ve gone too far!
You see, we are just lucky that we get to have so many options to choose from. Yes. That’s right- We get to choose!
Here’s a list of things that you won’t get graded on:
1} How your baby gets here.
May your baby be gently squeezed out still “in the caul”, whilst at home with Tibetan monks chanting in the background or be air-lifted in a planned c-section on a date that is convenient for you or be delivered via stork surrounded by a swarm of angels, congratulations friend, you can be a great mom.
2} How you feed your baby.
Formula or breast milk. That baby doesn’t care. Just keep it nourished! You’re doing a great job!
3} How your kid sleeps.
If your baby has always “slept through the night”, that’s awesome. If your baby won’t sleep for longer than an hour at a time, that sucks, but I’m sure you’re doing the best you can! Using the Cry It Out method? Cool-I never met an adult who has an attachment disorder solely based on the fact that their mom let them cry it out. If that works for your family, go for it. If you can’t stand the sound of your baby crying for that period of time, don’t use that method. You have a family bed? Snuggle up. You want some space while you sleep? Make your kid an awesome bedroom complete with race car bed. Whatever you choose, I just hope you can catch some z’s.
4} What you feed your family.
Only eat organic? Gluten free? Dairy free? No GMO’s in your home. Maybe you picked up Subway for dinner. Maybe you hit up McDonald’s in between gymnastics practice and chess club on the way to drop the kids off with their dad before hitting the gym. Did your kid eat? Great job.
5} Your Doctor’s Visits.
Hot topic these days. Whether your family vaccinates or not is your family’s choice. Sure, it may affect other people in the world and I hope when you are making the choice to vaccinate or not that you take this into consideration, I’m sure you did. No one thinks “hey I’m not going to vaccinate my child in hopes that I infect the world with a disease.” We get to choose.
And we choose what we think is best for our family. Bottom line.
6} What your kid wears.
If you have a kid that allows you to pick out their outfit and dress them each day! God bless ya! Or maybe you let your kid dress themselves in fabulous attire each day, but sometimes you are just slightly embarrassed by their ensembles, but hey, they are expressing their creativity! Maybe your kid screams in terror when they wear pants too swingy/clingy/ouchy, so you can only dress them in sweats. Or you have to wash their Captain America t-shirt four times a week because otherwise you’d never leave the house. Whatever. It’s basically uncontrollable.
7} Your parenting philosophy.
Attachment parenting. Duct Tape Parenting. Free-Range Parenting. Helicopter Parenting. If this makes you happy, it’s probably working. (Me personally, I basically wing it, but maybe that’s why I’m only a C+.)
I’m sure there are, like, somewhere between 10,000 and a million more things that parents
compete differ on, but here’s the bottom line. You’re a good mom. Kids need to feel loved, get attention and have their basic needs (food, water, shelter) met. If you’ve got that covered, you are probably at least a C+ parent, and in my eyes, that’s all you need to be. Me? I’m just hoping I remember share day just once this year.