That Friend


Growing up I counted myself lucky.

I had a family, a home, and some pretty spectacular friends. It wasn’t until I had my own children, years later, that I could fully appreciate just how spectacular they were. There are two that helped me through countless trials. Boyfriends, bad friends, and other typical pre-teen drama. The world seemed so cruel, so small, and so all about us.

Fast forward an astonishing twenty- something years (oh my) and I can see my younger self in the eyes of my girls. I often listen and stand idle trying my best not to rush in and try to save the day. Try not to tell them exactly what I would do or did. I know some are lessons that they need to learn on their own, or perhaps with the help of a few good friends of their own.

My soon-to-be twelve year old has already gone through so much. She has been told she is not good enough, has had rumors spread about her, and still seems to come out on top.

girl, face painting, heart face paintine, sequin headband, tween

I feared she wouldn’t recover. That she would emerge resembling my beautiful girl, but be lost somehow. I think this would have been so if not for her best friend. This girl, someone I will forever be grateful for, stood by her. Held her head up when she felt like no one else would do so. Listened to her cry and perhaps shed a few tears with her. This friend I am sure she will always have just as I have had mine. Many say that these social travesties are a rite of passage. As if emerging in one piece is something she needed to accomplish on her own. I am thankful that this was not true. For this friend I am eternally grateful.

Any mother of a pre-teen girl can relate to much of this I am sure. Count yourself lucky if your daughter has not had to go through any of this. I know, much like myself though, that you are holding your breath. If she has a friend like my daughters’ then please exhale. She will be okay. She will emerge stronger. If like mine, with a forgiving heart and a love for all of her friends, she will stay friends with these girls – the girls who had once tormented her. For they are indeed sweet girls too. Perhaps not then, but now yes I would say so.

Yes, having a forgiving heart makes her that much more beautiful.

As I said before I have four children. Each and every one of them are strong, beautiful, and their own person. Each traveling down their own path, with their own friends. They too have that one special friend. A friend to be excited about seeing each day. A friend whom they can count on. Like myself, my children have found that one friend. Proof that one good friend is all that is truly needed when it comes down to it.

I look forward to the boyfriends, bad friends, and other typical pre-teen drama (not), but know that they will be okay. For they have that one friend-or will. Mom’s out there….please know that they will be okay. Know that all it takes is ONE good friend to change their world. To change your world.

2 girls, sisters, kayaking,


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Faith Abair
I am a Mom to four wonderful kids (most of the time) Maddy (October 2002), Natalie (October 2004), Jack (December 2007), and Oakley (August 2011). We live in Colchester and are very lucky to be a part of this wonderful community. I am even luckier to work within this school district. You may also find me coaching one of their teams or chauffeuring to one of their many activities. I am also completing my BS in Marketing/Business. My passion, other than my kids of course, is literacy. I could go on and on about how important the foundation of literacy is. One day I plan to open my own children’s bookstore.



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