Surrendering to…THAT movie.


There was the moment I saw it enter into my house and I held my breath.

Cloaked in a blue plastic bag, handed directly to my son; he had asked his Grammie to buy it for him. It was too late. Like a rampant infection that was spreading through the world, our house was no longer safe. The movie Frozen had finally become a part of our DVD collection.  And without fail, its catchy tunes and quirky dialogue have left all of us changed forever. Well…err…not really. But that last part sounded good.

{Although I admit, I did quote/sing-song a part of it tonight at Misery Loves Company over a fabulous bottle of pinot noir. Hipsters be like, “Uh, is that Mom singing a song in our restaurant from Frozen? Is that the Mumford and Sons version?” Ahem.}

I am not a huge Disney fan. Yes there are plenty of movies that I love by this powerhouse, I’ve shopped at the Disney store with great aplomb and I’ve even mentioned the ever dreaded words to my husband, “hey maybe we should take the kids to Disney World someday.” But in the end I’ve hesitated to show most of the princess-y movies to my children, specifically my daughter. I’m worried that she will become obsessed, and want to grow her hair long and wear taffeta gowns, and think that all men will rescue her. I’m worried that she’ll refuse to wear her brother’s hand-me-downs because they aren’t pretty enough and that everything in her world will become a shade of baby blue light pink and fake plastic high heels.

I worry a lot.

So when Frozen came out, I snorted my usual “uh god, another stupid princess movie that I’ll need to censor.” Let me break this down (as I am want to do in most of my posts)…and you’ll probably hate me…I loved watching your videos on facebook and you tube of your children singing “let it go”, they were cute. Super adorable and as a former actor, I loved seeing little girls with such confidence and gusto belting it out in front of the camera. But frankly…I was over it. Again, not over your kids…love em…but lawd have mercy…can we just “let it go” for real?

Then as I mentioned, Frozen was purchased, and brought to our home.

My children loved it. And you know what, it wasn’t all that bad. In fact, I kinda liked it too. I liked the message of sisterly love. I liked that Anna held her own against the big snowman monster thing. I liked that she bought a sled for the man at the end. And gosh darn it, I loved the songs. And before I knew it, I heard it. I heard the sweetest warbling of a little bird-mouthed angel singing in the bathroom. Between clipping my nails and glancing over at the tub with my two year old flouncing about in the water, I heard her singing… “do you wanna build a snowman?” I melted. I did. Like Olaf did when Arendelle became summer again. I couldn’t stop staring at Ruby singing this song to herself. It was the sweetest most adorable thing I had seen in awhile. And before I knew it, I was singing it with her.


yoda ruby frozen post
i don’t understand what the problem is mom? i want to be yoda AND little red riding hood.

Every day she asks me, “I watch Fwozen, Mommy?” How could I deny such a request when she sings along in her little munchkin voice and laughs at all the right places? I’ve been fighting this Disney thing for awhile. Mostly because of my own inner demons and hyper sensitivity to media, culture, etc. and how it relates to our children, both boys and girls. And now I’m worried that since she is obsessed with Frozen, she will somehow become obsessed with Cinderella or Snow White (should she see them some day). This kinda stuff weighs heavily on my mind. I worry that if Ruby watches the magical world of Disney princess movies nonstop, this will dictate her identity and she’ll just walk around acting like a princess all the time.

I mean really, can I get a grip here? She’s only two!

After all, Henry was obsessed with Finding Nemo and watched it almost daily (or at least parts of it daily). And in the end, he grew out of his Nemo phase…and didn’t even shed a single tear last month when FireFlash, his goldfish, died. Kids change and evolve. I just have to keep reminding myself of this. I also have to remember that despite the outside influences in the world, like princesses, star wars blasters, and pokemon nonsense, my husband and I are strong parents. We teach good values, we try and communicate well with our children…and we show them love and kindness. I know many of you reading this have very dear thoughts about Disney. I don’t mean to offend. And I could write a longer thesis-length article on my thoughts, but who has the time…

I’ve gotta get back to watching/singing along with/acting out/ laughing at Frozen with my daughter.

ruby walks with baby frozen


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Heather Polifka-Rivas
Heather is originally from upstate New York but her family returned to Vermont 4 years ago. They have lived in NYC and Chicago the past 10+ years and are happy to be back in Vermont. Heather's previous jobs as a starving actor in NYC, package design guru at Estee Lauder, and advisor to fortune 500 companies at Chicago’s top business school have not prepared her for her current job today: stay at home mom to Henry (7) and Ruby (3). A self proclaimed foodie, Heather spends her "many" hours of free time preparing elaborate meals, eating out, tending to her garden, canning it's bounty and willing her one tapped maple tree to weep more sap. She is also a mother runner.


  1. I share your sentiments and worries 100%, Heather! As a mom who, just yesterday, stormed Disney with her 2-year-old “princess,” I was shocked to see her curtsy and nod to waiters and staff who called her “princess.” I was terrified about how far this princess thing would go… We had a rare opportunity to go to Disney for a day while staying with friends and went for it. Would she turn into a weak, damsel-in-distress mega princess? She definitely had a few bratty moments that day, but long term I think he’ll be okay.

    And, I think you’re right — we have stronger influences now as their parents. These fads will come and go, and Disney is everywhere. Ellie discovered Anna and Elsa from her friends at preschool. It was all downhill from there. 🙂

    I’ve taken full advantage of it in some ways… I can define what a ‘princess’ should be. So, in our house… princesses are kind, strong, speak up for what is right, and… use the potty. Haha!

    Love this post!

  2. HA! I hated the idea of seeing it too, and we’ve only seen it once. I am not a Disney princess fan…. but of course I too can sing any Frozen song now! 🙂


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