Friends is my ultimate favorite TV show. I grew to love it during my adolescence, and now, as an adult, I watch the entire series at least once a year, start to finish. Friends is my comfort show. I never tire of it. As it turns out, I got more out of the show than I anticipated.
I watch Friends for Chandler’s feel-good laughs, Rachel’s style evolution, and Phoebe’s carefree ways. And, having watched it so many times, I’ve learned a few lessons from the show. More than a few, actually. Here are seven relationship lessons from Friends, and I hope they help you as much as they have helped me.
Fall in Love with a Friend
This first of seven relationship lessons from Friends is one of the sweetest. Like Monica and Chandler, I married my friend. We met as coworkers, and both suffered through relationships ending around the same time. We were just friends getting to know each other and enjoying each other’s company. We soon realized we had a lot of common interests and values. Soon, our friendship grew into a crush and a romance. Five years later, we married.
Communication Is Important
Ross and Rachel’s break is the source of a lot of relationship lessons from Friends. It’s an extreme example, but so much rings true. Even 20 years later, you can ask anyone who was really to blame when Ross kissed the copy girl when he and Rachel were on a break. Ross versus Rachel. It just goes to show that communication matters and expressing your precise intentions or wants is important.
Let Go of Bad Relationships
It’s ok for a relationship to not work out. I learned, while dating, what I did and did not like/want. Sometimes a relationship just doesn’t line up with your values. Take Rachel and Barry. Rachel discovered late in their relationship that she didn’t love him or want to be a suburban housewife. Same with Monica and Richard – she wanted babies and he didn’t. A solid foundation and shared direction are needed for a relationship to succeed.
Prioritize Your Friendships
I forget where I heard it, but I heard that the happiest people in life are those who have friends. Obviously, it’s the premise of the show, but each character showed how friendship was important. Take Phoebe – she followed through with her dinner plans with Joey instead of meeting with David when he randomly showed up. I think it’s important to remember that the people who have been around the longest will likely be there when the date ends. This relationship lesson from Friends is more about friends rather than boyfriends or girlfriends, but it’s an important one to learn.
Love is Love. An Age Gap Is OK
Aside from giant age gaps that are illegal, creepy, or unfathomable, I think age doesn’t matter. Take Frank, Phoebe’s brother, and his wife, Alice. They had a significant age gap, and their love story was genuine. They had intense love for each other, common values, and similar future plans. I was glad when Phoebe stopped trying to break them up.
It’s Ok to Be Single
I admire both Joey and Phoebe’s ability to maintain being single and not compromise themselves for a relationship. Before Mike, Phoebe never celebrated an anniversary or had relationships that lasted longer than a couple of months. She waited to find the right person for her and didn’t commit to those who weren’t right. Joey never finds love in the series, which was a lifestyle choice, and also happens in life. This relationship lesson from Friends tells you to focus on yourself and build your confidence before entering a relationship.
Love Can Happen Unexpectedly
Phoebe met Mike by chance. You may remember that Joey and Phoebe had plans to set each other up with a friend. Much to Joey’s chagrin, he forgot and randomly found a guy at the coffee shop. At first, the match did not seem like a good fit, but they soon became engaged and wedded. Considering Mike was a random find, the evolution of their relationship is unexpected. Funny how love can happen so randomly.
Sometimes You Just Need to Pivot
There are plenty of times when life doesn’t go your way. Divorce, infertility, a snowstorm on your wedding day, or a burnt turkey on Thanksgiving are all real possibilities. The important thing is that you show flexibility when it’s needed.
Other than the seven relationship lessons from Friends that I shared, what other relationship or life lessons has “Friends” taught you?
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