In our latest episode of Whose Kid Is That?!? Val and Julie are joined by Alyssa Blask Campbell M.Ed., emotional development expert, and co-author of the brand-new book, Tiny Kids, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children.
Alyssa is a teacher, parent, and an emotional development expert with a Master’s in Early Childhood Education. She co-created the Collaborative Emotion Processing Method which is a way of helping kids process emotions in a way that nurtures emotional intelligence. She lives in Burlington, VT with her husband and kids.
Join us for a special BONUS November But the Book Was Better- Book Club meeting where we’ll discuss Tiny Humans, Big Emotions and how to raise emotionally intelligent children LIVE with Alyssa on November 14 at 7:30 PM ET. Join our book club here!
Check out this snippet of our conversation about how to raise emotionally intelligent children and the Collaborative Emotion Processing Method with Alyssa:
Julie: What is the number one piece of advice you’d want parents or teachers to take away from your book?
Alyssa: That I’ve never ended the day as a parent or a teacher and been like, “Well, I was perfect today.”
Julie: Wow.
Val: Yes!
Alyssa: Right? There is no perfection in this and it’s truly not the goal.
We tell kids all the time that they’re allowed to make mistakes and drop the ball.
But then when we try to operate from a place of perfection, what we model is something completely different. We model that we can’t make mistakes and that every time we make mistakes, we’re failing. And so really, truly embodying that practice of not-perfection means we accept that, I’m gonna drop the ball and make mistakes. And then I’m gonna come back and I’m gonna repair the mistake with you and I’m gonna say things like,
“When we were trying to come in from the car and I was getting the groceries and you decided to climb up to the front seat and turn on all the lights and the windshield wipers and beat the horn, I was feeling really overwhelmed.
I snapped and I wasn’t kind and next time I’m going to try and calm my body so that I can speak kindly to you as we move inside.”
And then letting go of the guilt part. Knowing that you’ve truly done your part from an emotional intelligence standpoint of making a mistake, reconnecting, repairing, and moving forward.
I think so often, we are telling kids, they can be imperfect, but we’re expecting perfection from ourselves. And so then we’re stuck in a cycle of guilt.
Val: One of my favorite things that my three-year-old does, is if she spills something or breaks something, and I make a face because I’m thinking I’m the one that’s gonna have to clean it up, she will immediately look at me, and say, “That’s okay.”
And, can I tell you the way it calms me? I’m often like, “Thank you for the reminder because I needed that.” But to that point, obviously, we’re not perfect and our kids are not perfect and I wouldn’t want to make her feel bad.
Alyssa: I love that so much.
Additional resources about how to raise emotionally intelligent children shared in this convo:
- Grab the book, Tiny Humans, Big Emotions by Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed., and Lauren Stauble, M.S.
- Check out Alyssa’s website, Seed & Sew
- Listen to Voices of Your Village podcast.
- Join Alyssa in person at the Echo Center in VT.
- Follow Alyssa on Instagram @seed.and.sew!
- Join our virtual But the Book Was Better Book Club.
To hear our full conversation with Alyssa, check out the latest episode of Whose Kid Is That?!? with Julie and Val. You can listen on Apple or Spotify. Don’t forget to subscribe so you know exactly when each new episode is released!
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