If you’re a child of the 80s like me, you probably never heard the term perimenopause until your friends started warning you about it. I didn’t know the phase before menopause had a name, and that for a lot of us with two X chromosomes, it lasts four to eight years. WTF. I’m not even a year into this and the thought of another 7 is just agony. As my wife said recently, perimenopause is proof that intelligent design in human evolution is not a thing.
I wish a perimenopause starter pack magically showed up at my door when I first noticed it felt hot ALL the time. Since that isn’t a thing, I want to share a few things that have helped me.
Before we get into it, let’s talk about what perimenopause is. Like a lot of things about women’s health (thanks but no thanks, patriarchy), the definition of it is vague. The Mayo Clinic defines it as “around menopause” and refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.” They go on to explain it typically begins sometime in your 40s, but for some people, it may begin in your 30s. Hooray, that’s just so clear. Wow, thanks. Once you don’t have your period for a year, you’ve officially reached menopause.
I was shocked when I had my latest annual wellness exam and my PCP asked me if I still menstruate. I’m in my early 40s! I have a 5-year-old! I may not leave my house past 7:00 pm but I am youthful and vibrant!
Well, the jokes on me, because the perimenopausal symptoms have slowly started creeping in. The only bonus for me is that as a cis-woman married to another cis-woman, I don’t have to play the game of “Is it pregnancy or is it menopause.” My sympathies to those who have to worry about this. Perimenopause doesn’t necessarily mean it’s impossible to get pregnant either. Ask around. Everyone knows someone who had that very late-in-life baby.
The symptoms of perimenopause overlap with both pregnancy and regular period symptoms, because evolution just got bored when it came to human menstruation, I guess. They include:
- Weird periods (heavy, light, shorter or longer duration of time in between, basically anything)
- Hot flashes
- Insomnia and/or fatigue
- Increased moodiness- rage, depression, etc.
- Decreased libido
- Needing to pee more
- Increased migraines
- Itchy skin, acne, decrease in skin elasticity, and other skin changes
Fun, right? I’ve experienced a lot of these symptoms and I’m sure more will come, or they’ll get worse, as I continue through perimenopause.
Because there is no way to get rid of perimenopause, I’ve looked for ways to make the symptoms better. I know many women get hormone supplements, which I haven’t yet tried (partially because I’m too lazy to make a doctor’s appointment. I have perimenopausal fatigue!) The other reality here about hormone replacement therapy is that many medical providers rely on outdated information that caused people to believe that hormone replacement (HRT) is dangerous. Current studies paint a different picture but it can be very challenging to find a knowledgable provider and to know who to believe.
Here’s some products I have used, or had suggested by friends, and would put in a perimenopause starter pack.
Cooling blanket and supplements for hot flashes
I thought I had left waking up soaked in sweat behind with the postpartum phase, but it’s back! I recently got a cooling blanket in desperation. There are many on the market, and for the first item in my perimenopause starter pack, I went for a lower-priced one as I was skeptical. I have found it works for me! I sleep with the cool side against my body, with the sheet and comforter over it. You’ll be able to tell which is the “cool” side because the fabric has a slicker and silkier feeling. I’m sure that more expensive versions have both sides with the cooler fabric. Once I started using this, I woke up too hot a few times, but haven’t been covered in sweat since.
What took me from waking up hot every night to it happening rarely, was using the cooling blanket in combination with a daily supplement for hot flashes. There are many perimenopause and menopause supplements on the market, and you should research them from legitimate websites written in consultation with medical professionals. Some may interact negatively with antidepressants, so those were a no for me. Maybe the supplements have a placebo effect, maybe they really work, but either way, they’ve been a lifesaver.
Diet Coke and a Giant Water Bottle for Migraines
I’ve had migraines for about twenty years. For me, they’re brought on by dehydration in combination with flickering bright lights (I hate fluorescents) or strong cleaner smells. But for the past several months, I have been getting migraines 2-3 times a month, usually a few weeks before my period. The medicine I take for migraines doesn’t touch these, and I end up useless for a day. I was drinking a lot of Diet Coke hoping the caffeine would help, and it did a little, but I know this isn’t a long-term solution.
Recently, I instead got one of those ridiculous huge water bottles. I’m usually good at drinking water when I’m at work, but when I work from home I forget. So far, staying uber-hydrated has prevented the perimenopause migraines. Add your best, loudest water bottle to your perimenopause starter pack so you can keep track of it and hydration.
Period Underwear
Your periods are going to get weird. Your bladder control is going to get worse. Period underwear can be your best friend. There are several brands to try to find ones that fit you the best. There are also cloth pads you can use with regular underwear.
Skin Cream
I had no idea itchy skin was a perimenopause symptom. Mine isn’t that prominent, but I’ve had many friends who are afflicted with this and insisted I include it! Itch cream could be your friend. I also find that whipped shea butter helps- it’s just a great product to have around anyway. So luxurious. My kiddo likes it too! Treat yourself and add some to your perimenopause starter pack.
Reading Glasses
I am on the cusp of needing to carry reading glasses with me all the time, and I’ve got some ready when the time comes. Recently, I was trying to read the teeny tiny writing on a cat food can to make sure my kitties’ allergens weren’t included, and my eyes hurt. What the heck. Usually, I can just take my regular glasses off, but the day when that stops being enough is coming. This is probably just aging and not strictly a perimenopause thing, but why not put this in the starter pack to be on the safe side? I found some fun turquoise ones that I’m ready to rock. They’ll pair well with my cross stitch projects!
Have you started perimenopause? What has surprised you? What would you include in a perimenopause starter pack for your friends?
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