7 Reasons Why I’m Not Looking Forward to Valentine’s Day


Valentine’s Day. It’s a day for love and romance. A day for kisses and hugs, and wearing your heart on your sleeve. It’s a day when people to give big bouquets of flowers and giant boxes of chocolates to each other. It sounds nice in theory, but here’s the thing: I’m just not looking forward to it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not claiming to be anti-romance. I just don’t love this holiday.

Here’s why:

Reason #1:

For me, Valentine’s Day falls on an arbitrary date. I love my husband just as much on February 14th as on any other day of the year. It’s not the anniversary of our wedding or our first date, and to me, it just feels like most other days of the week. While the chocolate and flower industries would like my husband to spend lots of money on me this month, I would much rather he surprise me with a treat on a random day.

valentine's day, flowers, romance, roses
I would much rather receive a beautiful bouquet of flowers (or better yet, a potted plant) on a random day.

Reason #2:

The origin of this holiday doesn’t seem to have much to do with how we currently celebrate. A few years ago, VPR put out an article about the holiday’s dark origins and after reading it, I’m really not in the mood for flowers and chocolate. Without saying too much, I’ll tell you that it involved a matchmaking lottery, the martyrdom of two men named Valentine and a possible confusion of two names that sound alike (Galatin and Valentine). If nothing else, the idea of a “matchmaking lottery” doesn’t spell romance for me.

Reason #3:

It’s not for everyone. At least, not here in the United States. In other countries, there is a greater emphasis on friendship. In Mexico, for example, they call February 14th El dia del Amor y la Amistad (the day of love and friendship). It’s an opportunity to shower your significant other with love and gifts, but it’s also an opportunity to show appreciation for your friends. Now, that’s something I can get on board with. Telling my friend Megan how much I appreciate her friendship seems much better than: “Hey, single friends! It’s that day I get to remind you that I’m in a relationship and you’re not!”

love, romance, valentine's day, scrabble tiles
There is such a focus on love and romance at this time of year. Why not focus on kindness and friendship?

Reason #4:

To be honest, I don’t particularly love pink. Yes, it’s totally superficial of me to judge an entire holiday based on color, but that’s how I feel. I detest that time of year when the seasonal aisle in every grocery store and drugstore overflows with gaudy, shiny hearts of all sizes. Oh, and I’ve recently discovered I’ve become one of those people that hates glitter.

valentine's day, romane, love, candy, confetti
Pink. Glitter. Confetti. Commercialism. Just a few things I dislike about this holiday.

Reason #5:

It’s so commercial. This goes along with the last reason. Just after Christmas, our local stores’ seasonal shelves become packed with special, limited edition items of all types. There are Valentine’s day greeting cards available for even the most obscure of relationships. I found way more cards than I thought necessary for giving to one’s boss on this romantic holiday. To be honest, even one valentine for my boss would be one too many.

Reason #6:

I’m a chocolate snob. I only like high quality, high cocoa content dark chocolate, and I don’t like caramel to be anywhere near it. On chocolate holidays, I just dread receiving mainstream milk chocolate. As much as I appreciate the thought behind it, it goes directly to the teacher’s lounge at work, or as my husband likes to call it, the Bermuda Triangle.

chocolate, bouquet, valentine's day, love, romance
I honestly dread selections of chocolate that may include milk chocolate or caramel. I’d much rather have a (clearly labeled) bar of super dark chocolate.

And lastly…

Reason #7:

There are so many classroom rules nowadays. When I was a kid, we could give out valentines at school, give out candy, and invite whoever we wanted to a Valentine’s party. Our son is only 14 months old, and his daycare center has so many policies about holidays, parties and foods that it’s hard to remember all of them. I can only imagine how many more rules there will be when he is in kindergarten. Of course, I understand the need for inclusion and the importance of care when it comes to food allergies, but I can’t help but miss the simpler days.

Alright, so there are many reasons why I’m not looking forward to this holiday, but that doesn’t mean it’s not salvageable. If my husband wants to exchange gifts this year, there are a few things I can do. I can suggest a meal out on a different day (since everyone and their mother will be out on the actual day), suggest we cook a meal together at home and watch a movie, insist we shop locally for each other, or suggest a homemade holiday instead of spending money on commercial items.


  1. I love Valentine’s Day, and here’s why: you have complete control on how you celebrate this holiday with your family and child. It doesn’t have to be about “love” it CAN be about friendship. I agree chocolate and flowers are ridiculous, so in our house we celebrate with crafts and fun little presents. We’ve even had a “Pink Drinks” day just to have fun! We make it about the kids/family, not about romantic love. We’ve placed no expectations on celebrating as a couple… but if it were to make us reconsider if we should add a date night in February, SURE! So, it’s fine to be grumpy about Valentine’s Day, but I feel I can shield my kids pretty well from the commercial side of it if we grab it by the horns and make it our own.

    I feel similarly about holidays like Cinco de Mayo and St. Patty’s Day (why is there no “Norwegian Heritage Day” for our family?) so I “spin” these into things that make me excited!

    I’m just trying to give you ideas to spin this into something you might like. 🙂


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