People told us it would be an adjustment to have two children. They told us it would be difficult and take time to get into the groove of things.
But no one told me how much I would miss my first son, even though he was right there with me.
As you know, a newborn needs his mama in a very demanding way. Nursing is a constant responsibility for the mom and results in little time for much else in the early days. Then there is your physical healing. They say not to pick up anything heavier than your baby for two weeks. Well a toddler is most certainly heavier than a newborn.
For the first week of Declan’s life I was faced with something completely unexpected.
I missed Aedan like crazy.
I couldn’t pick him up when he asked me to, I couldn’t run around the kitchen chasing and tickling him, and I couldn’t be the mom I was to him for the 21 months prior. He was right there with me but my husband was his sole provider while I focused on Declan. After a week, I simply couldn’t take it anymore and I chose not to listen to the recommendations about lifting. I also started to find time for just Aedan, even if it was just for five minutes reading a book together.
In the last six weeks, not being the mom I’d become so accustomed to has been the most difficult of all the adjustments to two children. Having to direct Aedan to my husband when he needed me hurt every time. It’s getting better but there are still many moments in any given day where I feel like neither of them are getting 100% of me.
So why am I telling you this?
I wish someone had prepared me for this feeling. I wish they had told me I would miss my oldest child despite being a mere foot from me and that there would be this mom guilt for the amount of time shifted to the new baby. I think it’s important to know that this might happen to you when the second baby comes along.
Thankfully, Aedan is adjusting better than I could have hoped for and the love he has for his little brother melts my heart.