“The BVTMB is getting real this week about a sometimes taboo, but important topic…S-E-X! Our team is sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly…and maybe the humorous and kinky too… about sex after kids in hopes that some of you can relate.”
Married & Dating
That’s right, I’m married and dating! Dating my husband that is! We’ve been together 10 years and married 8, we’ve moved several times and now have a wonderful super charged little boy to keep us busy and tire us out. Like most couples, we have work and family responsibilities that sometimes distract us from each other. In the last few months we’ve been working hard to stay connected, grow our relationships and keep things fun! With love in the air this month, it’s the perfect time to think about ways to strengthen your bond with your significant other.
I’m sure you’ve heard about date nights, but are you really planning them? And when I say “plan,” I really mean plan. Don’t just say, “Hey want to do something this weekend?” Be deliberate about it! Put it in your calendar, computer and planner! If you go out to dinner, dress up and try to remember how you felt when you first started dating your spouse. Share fun memories from your time together and dream about the future. We often have breakfast dates because it allows me to still be home to do naps. Breakfast meals out are generally cheaper and it’s easier for us to find someone to watch MJ then. We even do a simple stop at Starbucks for coffee if we’re short on time. It’s something we used to do often before kids and it gives us a moment to reconnect.
We are also very aware of our budget, and only do date nights out maybe once a month. We’ve been trying to schedule more dates in! Time that we’ve deliberately set aside for a movie and quality time. No other electronics or distractions allowed! We talk, watch a movie, play games and connect. On special anniversaries, take a walk down memory lane and look through old photos and reminisce about all the wonderful and joyful times in your past. Even if your significant other isn’t a planner, YOU take action and plan some dates! It’ll be fun and your spouse is sure to notice.
Keep it Fun
So you know those cute notes you put in your kids lunch box? Turns out, husbands like them too!! Or at least mine does, and maybe yours will too. I don’t do them as often as I would for a kiddo, but every once in awhile it’s a sweet gesture if you can tuck a surprise love note somewhere in their day. Maybe a note in the visor of their car or a sticky note on the mirror. You can send them a thoughtful text with sincere and genuine appreciation for something they do. Involve the kids when you can! Make a fun picture with your kids to help your significant other feel appreciated.
Find a Shared Activity
A great way to connect with your partner is to get involved in an activity where you learn or try new things together. Take Ballroom dance lessons, join a book club, or a couples group at your church! Learning something new together will challenge you and when you have success or a positive experience you get to celebrate together.
What do you do to keep the romance alive in your relationship?