My family welcomed our third child in early December. Our older children are 4 and 17 and I felt better prepared for this baby. I felt I knew what to expect and what my strengths and weaknesses were. I also felt like I was heading into unknown territory because it was our first time managing two littles at the same time.
My postpartum advice goes beyond the ever-popular and wildly irritating “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” plus meal prep, medicated pads, and 6-week recovery time. My third baby postpartum hacks are a little more personalized for a veteran mama learning to juggle a tiny addition to the family.
My third baby postpartum experience has been better than my two previous postpartum experiences. I planned or at least thought out more details and our first month was pleasantly distracted by the chaos of Christmas.
Before our baby arrived, I brainstormed a long list of potential things that could help me get through my third baby postpartum period. The list below includes only things that actually happened from that long list.
Discuss a Household Plan
Our household plan included a few things. We had one household plan for when the baby was born. I created a document with essential information for whoever was helping out by caring for our kids, dogs, and home while we were in the hospital welcoming baby number three. It was a quick resource that could be emailed to our primary and backup caregivers.
Secondly, a big part of our household plan was a conversation between my husband and me about what we expected the postpartum period to look like. Postpartum affects more than just mom and baby and it helped us to discuss this. We talked about how we hoped the first few days at home would go, navigating the needs of our older children, and how the household tasks would be divided.
(Pseudo) Date Nights
Ordinarily, we schedule a date night once a month. We continued this routine with a (pseudo) date night including just the baby while our two older kids were babysat/out with friends. Even if it was just pizza delivery and playing cribbage, we enjoyed some adult time together. It might seem small but this third baby postpartum hack really kept me going.
Utilize Delivery Services
I rarely go to the grocery store. If I do, it’s for a forgotten item. Instead, I use the grocery store app and delivery. I started with using the pick-up service then after the birth of our third child, I switched to delivery. Honestly, I’m not sure I’ll ever go back. It’s so much easier to walk to the front door and grab my groceries instead of gearing everyone up to go to the store. I love it.
Therapy Appointments
I utilize talk therapy and have a maintenance session once a month. I planned a session one week postpartum because my second postpartum period was hard. From there, we met monthly. I also accepted the postpartum mental health check-in offers by my doctor. It gave me comfort knowing I had these visits in place.
Not To Do List
My therapy sessions while pregnant were focused on my postpartum plan. My therapist shared a few resources like a “Not To Do List” and a worksheet for identifying my supports. Again, I found comfort in knowing I had my supports thought out and in one place. I also took the time to reach out to these people to check in about this. When I knew I’d need help, I asked for it.
At Home Workouts
Once I was cleared to exercise, I started. I have a walking pad, free weights, and a yoga mat. I started with just walking and gradually increased time and added weights into the mix. Sometimes it took all day to finish a routine but I reminded myself that each movement added to my “fitness bank.”
Plan Self Care
I treat myself to a haircut and highlight every 3-4 months. I intentionally planned one of my salon visits about a month postpartum. I always feel like a new person with fresh hair.
Invite Visitors
I’m prone to seasonal depression and with the baby coming in December I knew I needed to be proactive with surrounding myself with family. Since my parents are retired, I asked them to visit once a week. While it didn’t happen once a week, I was still thankful for their visits and proud of myself for asking for help before it was actually needed.
At Home Support
My husband took one month off from work at the start of my maternity leave. With our last baby, he only took two weeks. Having four weeks of two of us at home to manage things was way better and I recommend having your partner home for as long as they can.
Have Sex Regularly
Whether you call it maintenance sex or if you follow the “72-hour rule” (which suggests that a couple should have sex at least every three days,) I think having sex regularly is important to our relationship. It’s so easy to lose track, disconnect, or feel “touched out,” while raising little kids. We had a conversation about each other’s expectations of how frequently to have sex and stated we’d each make an effort. Once cleared by my OB/GYN, this became a priority.
Daily Reset of Home
I’ve been on the search for tips on how to maintain our house amidst the chaos of life. I found How to Keep House While Drowning, which offered a simple approach to cleaning. The author suggests that each room can be broken into five tasks: trash, dishes, laundry, things with a place, and things without a place. I used this approach to do a daily reset of our house. I did this daily reset to help get through the day into the next. If I felt like doing more, great, otherwise this was enough.
Read
Last fall, I made a personal goal to read one book a month. During postpartum, I continued this goal. After all, I was spending plenty of time sitting while breastfeeding. I also liked how it reduced my time scrolling on my phone. Consequently, I am always looking for suggestions for books that fit in with this postpartum period. What books do you recommend?
Plan Time with Friends
During my previous postpartum periods, I realized my socialization was limited to my husband and kids and text messaging. I was relying heavily on my husband to entertain me when he was home from work. I recognized we needed a better balance. He needed his downtime and I needed friends. I planned a couple’s night and reached out to my sister for “me” time.
Keep a Wellness Journal
I’ve maintained a gratitude journal before and when I completed my journal, I bought a wellness journal. The wellness journal offered a section for daily gratitude as well as more concrete goals like water and nutrition, plus there is a spot to doodle. I find when I write things down I’m more motivated and feel more accomplished.
How was your postpartum journey? Do you have any third baby postpartum hacks? Or any tips for moms of subsequent babies? What would you recommend to another mama?
Are you looking for a little support and community during your postpartum period? Quiet Connection Postpartum Mental Health Podcast and their Facebook community is top on our list of third baby postpartum hacks!
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