Let me preface this post by saying I have never been overly excited about hitting the bars.
In college, when you’re expected to live for the weekend and rage like there’s no tomorrow, my tomorrow was usually a work day; so I’d
rage hang out with friends and go to bed at a reasonable hour. On a few random nights, I’d laugh in the face of responsibility and let my friends persuade me to go out, where I’d sip on expensive drinks and dance to upbeat, Pop music. Then, and now, it’s good for a homebody like me to cut loose and get out with friends.
The difference is that now, with kids, it seems like an even greater feat for me to have a night out. Lately, it seems like going out at night is not even worth it.
Here are my 6 reasons why going out just isn’t worth it:
I need to get my sleep
On a regular night, I don’t get a ton of sleep. I have two small children- need I say more? So why would it matter if I stayed up until 2 am partying? Because losing even those couple of hours of sleep, say from 9pm to 11pm, when our youngest usually stirs, can make for a very tired momma. Unlike my friends who don’t have children, I don’t get to sleep in after a night out. I can’t even imagine how nice it must be to sleep until noon!
I’m pretty sure if there was a second Murphy’s law it’d be: The later you stay up, the earlier your children will wake.
I end up being the DD
9 out of 10 times, I am the designated driver. I really can’t complain, as the majority of these times I offer to drive. Why would I give up the opportunity to drink to my heart’s content and get a free ride home, you ask? The first reason is that I’m not a huge drinker anyway (shocker, I know).
Also, it used to be likely that when I arrived home, my baby would be waking up, ready to nurse, and I couldn’t give him a boozy serving of breastmilk.
Another reason I am DD relates back to #1, and the fact that within a couple hours of getting home, I am expected to be a bright-eyed, entertaining momma to two energetic boys. And there is nothing worse than being hungover with two children who need you to be somewhat functional.
Drinks are expensive
The last time I went out I ordered one margarita, which came to $10 with tip. The cost wasn’t a surprise, but the drink was a disappointment, being super salty and weak on the tequila. I immediately started mental calculations about how much an entire bottle of Jose Cuervo and my favorite mixer would cost, and realized I could easily have four delicious drinks for not much more than I just shelled out for one mediocre one. I know it will always be much cheaper to drink at home, and when you’re out you also pay for the experience, but when you are already a little sour about being out (as I was), steep costs for something you can make better yourself is like salt in the wound.
Another outfit change
Ok, this may be a ridiculous excuse, but there have been times where changing into another outfit just felt like too much effort. When I get home from work I change out of my nicer work attire into comfy clothes that can withstand small sticky fingers, paint projects, and possibly a piece or two of dinner being thrown at them.
If I am going back out into the world, I have to quietly dig through my closet after putting the kids to bed to find another set of duds; clothes suitable for nightlife and adult company, which usually means no sweatpants.
I partially blame this lack of motivation to pull together a nice outfit on being a tired mom, who just wants to stay in her yoga pants and enjoy 30 minutes of quiet after putting the kids to bed.
Guys, I’m married
In case my wedding ring wasn’t a give-away, I’m not out in da club to be picked up. I know it can seem misleading when my single friend is grinding up on your (hopefully) single friend, and it seems like everyone here is looking to pair-off, but I’m not looking for any male attention. I’m also not playing hard to get by giving you one-word answers and glancing past you to locate my other friends. I already have someone waiting for me at home, so move along.
I’d really like to focus on you, my friend
Lately, it’s been a challenge finding time that is quiet, relaxing, and kid-free to see my friends. Do we really want to spend that time out in a loud bar where I can’t focus on you and hear half of what you are saying? Sure, some pubs are on the quieter side, but then there’s still #3 and I feel like I need a nicer #4 than if we were relaxing on your couch. If I’ve managed a night away from my family, my highest priority is just being with you.
I want to hear how your week has been without being interrupted by toddler demands.
I’d like to catch up on the things that may not be appropriate bar-talk, like how your last doctor’s appointment went- the one you were dreading. I’ll even bring my $7 bottle of costco sangria and promise to leave at a reasonable hour!
So there you have it, as much as I’d like to party it up with my friends late-night, like I did on occasion pre-kids, some nights it’s just not worth it. I would much rather enjoy a few self-concocted drinks with friends and family without all the effort it takes to join the bar scene. Not to mention the long-lasting effects a night out has on our weekend as a family. I’m exhausted just thinking about it!