The Echo Chamber
I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed. And if I’m being truly honest, I am utterly disgusted, but maybe not for the reasons you might think.
Every time I scroll through my social media feed, turn on the TV, or glance at a news app, there it is: another mention of the Epstein files. We are being absolutely inundated with the details of the depravity, the powerful names, and the sickening scope of the abuse. It is a media storm that feels endless, and for someone like me, a survivor of sexual abuse that started when I was just 14, it doesn’t feel like reporting; it feels like torture by echo chamber.
The true source of my exhaustion isn’t just the news, though. It’s watching the inevitable responses. As the truth is unveiled, we simultaneously watch the institutions, the wealthy, and the connected work tirelessly to scrub it clean. We see the legal system and the GOP minimizing actions as “just being guys” or arguing about the technical difference between an 8-year-old and a 15-year-old, as if abuse at any age is acceptable.
In short, we are being forced to watch, in high definition, how our society continually and systematically prioritizes the protection of abusers, but amidst the disgust, there is much that parents can learn from the Epstein case.
A Lie That Kept Me Small
I spent decades of my life silent, believing I deserved what happened to me, even when I said no, and especially when I didn’t. I am only now, in my thirties, able to look back and name the years of abuse I endured. The current media storm surrounding Trump and the Epstein files is not just painful; it is a flash flood that threatens to drown the processing I’m working so hard to navigate. It reminds me daily that the world I live in is rigged to keep victims small and to keep the powerful protected.
That message, that my experience was secondary, became the air I breathed for years.
I didn’t recognize what happened to me as abuse. I just lived in the fog of it, a confused and self-blaming teenager navigating abuse from multiple older boys over multiple years. I carried the shame like a heavy, invisible backpack. If I was silent, it was because I genuinely thought I deserved the abuse and because I was afraid I would be dismissed by the people who were meant to protect me.
In moments where I desperately tried to say no, I didn’t believe my “no” held any weight. I was explicitly told, “You know you like it.” That I didn’t have control over what happened to my body, because I didn’t get a say over my own desires. And when I didn’t say no? The guilt was paralyzing. I bought into the toxic narrative hook, line, and sinker: This is just what happens. This is what all your friends are doing, and they don’t make a big deal of it.
The Disgusting Clarity
The true, disgusting clarity didn’t arrive until I was well into my thirties. It was a slow, jarring realization: The abuse wasn’t my fault. That wasn’t a normal teenage experience. That was abuse. And I didn’t even come to this realization on my own. I discovered this knowledge through subtle comments dropped at awkward times, and during everyday conversations with the people I love. I would be stopped in my tracks, mid-sentence, and asked, “Wait, what did you just say? You realize that’s not normal, right?”
To finally name the thing that had held me captive for two decades was liberating, and yet equally sickening.
That hard-won personal truth is what makes the current media storm so destabilizing. To finally see the lie of my past and then watch the same lie, the lie of powerful male innocence, paraded across every headline, is utterly maddening. It feels like the world is demanding I re-internalize the shame I’m desperately trying to shed. The shame of experiencing abuse, and the shame of being scrutinized by speaking out sear me. It makes me determined to try to teach my children something to counteract this message because there is so much parents can learn from the Epstein Case.
Refusing the Burden of Defense
This is where the personal pain collides with the future. I am not just a survivor re-examining their past; I am a parent raising two young daughters in America, and that is terrifying.
How do I explain this normalization of abuse to them? How do I prepare them for a world that operates this way? A world where powerful people are protected, and victims are forced into silence? It’s almost overwhelming what parents can learn from the Epstein case.
The dilemma is all-consuming and a constant weight on my chest. I desperately want to empower my girls with tools and confidence, but I refuse to feed into the insidious idea that it is the victim’s job to be defensive, aware, and constantly vigilant, rather than the abuser’s job to simply grow up and not abuse people.
I will not teach them that the burden of safety rests on their shoulders. But still, this mom wants them safe; navigating this balance is the primary lesson parents can learn from the Epstein case.
Beyond the Media Storm: What Parents Can Learn From the Epstein Case
Shifting My Approach
By shifting my focus from defense to empowerment, I’ve realized that the most vital thing parents can learn from the Epstein case is how to build an unwavering moral foundation through a two-pronged approach:
- Challenging the Normalization (Outward): I teach them that the language of “boys will be boys” is a toxic lie. I teach them that minimizing harm done to others is a foundational weakness, not an excuse. We will call out predatory behavior and the systems that protect it, whether it’s in a public scandal, online, or at a local playground.
- Affirming Their Worth and Voice (Inward): I tirelessly affirm their inherent worth. I teach them that their bodies are their own, and that their “no” is a complete sentence, no justification needed. I teach them that truth-telling is an act of power. If someone violates their boundaries, their first, most vital job is to find a safe adult and tell the story. Their story is valid, regardless of how the world tries to shrink it.
This is the hardest work of being a parent: not shielding them from reality. Giving our kids the tools to speak loudly against a rigged system is the most powerful and enduring lesson parents can learn from the Epstein case.
Why Parents Can’t Look Away
The media storm surrounding the Epstein files will eventually pass. The headlines will fade, and the public attention will shift to the next scandal, but the actionable steps parents can learn from the Epstein case must stay with us if we want to change the culture.
We cannot afford to let the constant normalization of abuse and the protection of powerful abusers define the world we raise our children in. Our job, as parents and as community members, is to refuse the silence.
We can start right here, right now, by creating a culture that fundamentally refuses to minimize harm.
A Call to Action for Parents:
- Listen Without Questioning: Commit to believing victims. Immediately. The moment a child or adult trusts us with their truth, our sole response must be: “I believe you, and I am here for you.” There is no room for doubt or technicality in that moment.
- Refuse Toxic Narratives: Challenge minimizing language wherever you hear it. Do not let “they were just guys” or “boys will be boys” take root in your home, your social circles, or your community discussions. Those phrases are the foundation of the systems that protected my abusers and the abusers in the headlines.
- Affirm Their Autonomy: Continue the crucial work of affirming the autonomy of every child and young adult. Their body belongs to them, and they need to know what this means. Teach them that their voice has power. Teach them that the burden of morality rests squarely on the shoulders of the person who might cause harm.
I was made to feel small, unworthy, and wrong, and I stayed silent for decades. But today I am choosing to take up space. And I invite every one of you who is reading this, who feels that same exhausting, infuriating disgust, to take up space with me.
The silence ends with us. We owe it to our younger selves, and we owe it to the next generation, to speak the truth, no matter how loudly the world tries to drown us out. The more parents can learn from the Epstein case, the safer our children’s future will be.
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