BurlingtonVT Moms Blog is partnering with Vermont Midwives Association to bring you our latest series titled “How I Became a Mother” in honor of Mother’s Day.  Each of us has a unique journey on how we got here…here being in this crazy thing called motherhood.  Some of us have grown our families through adoption, some through donor sperm.  Some of us have struggled with infertility while others of us have needed to rely on faith and science.   Bringing a child into this world is no less than miraculous regardless of how it’s done.  These next two weeks we want to share with you the stories of how we became mothers, to let you know that no two families are born the same.  Join us on this journey as we celebrate Moms!

Releasing Control

I can be a planner and pretty type A in some aspects of my life.  My fertility is definitely one of those places. 

Motherhood has always been my calling and I waited and planned for my daughter for a very long time. My husband and I had been together for 8 years (together for 6 and married 2) when we finally decided we were “ready”.  I almost guiltily admit that we became pregnant the first month we tried. This was not entirely by chance but rather mostly by my extreme planning, temping, OPK, CM checks etc. Yes, I was a little obsessed.  But since having my daughter, I have definitely released some of that control.

As we all know, our children turn our lives upside down.  Almost nothing remains untouched by their tiny yet forceful spirits.

We shift. Our schedules shift, our mentality shifts, and our priorities shift.

I have seen my husband in a brand new light and have come to truly appreciate him for the small boring everyday tasks he lovingly relieves me from.

My faith has grown exponentially through my daughter. She gives me strength when I am spiritually weak. Her childlike simple joy forces me to appreciate even the littlest things.  

Because of my planner tendencies, I have to make a very conscience effort to say “yes” when she asks me to read to her or to engage in simple play. My husband has a much easier time doing this and I am awed and slightly jealous of their fun relationship. I find myself saying “right after I do x chore” over and over throughout the day.

But in order to be her mother.. she should view me as one. Not just the housekeeper or the domestic engineer but as someone who is there for her both physically and mentally present and engaged.

So every day I become a mother. A better mother.

A mother who says “yes” to enriching activities and learns to let go of the unimportant mundane tasks that won’t matter in 20 years. A mother who is creating memories and encouraging life lessons through engagement. I am learning to let go of planning; to live in the moment, and let my daughter shape me into the best mother I can be.

Written By:  Beatriz Jarvis

I am a self-taught free lance make-up artist serving the Burlington area. I have a strong passion for helping people look and feel their best.  I am constantly on the prowl for how I can bring both the latest looks and styles, as well as classic standards of beauty, to my diverse clientele.  You can find out more about my services on my FB page here.
I was born and raised in Maryland but I lived with my husband, Josh,  in Iowa for 10 years while he finished undergrad then med school. We then moved to Vermont in 2012 for his residency and I have since fallen in love! It will be very hard to leave! We have a 2.5 year old daughter, Flor, and one grumpy dachshund. I enjoy Vermont’s summers the most, especially the lake. In my free time, I enjoy walking, reading, gardening, and crocheting