Finding Yourself by Stripping Down

0

w

Who am I?

Sometimes I just want to be me again. (Or was I ever even her?) I have lost her along the way. I thought I was doing a good job at trying to find her but no. She is elusive and mysterious. Where did she go?

I joined the military. I got married. I had a baby. I  went to college. I got a divorce. I dated, and eventually remarried. Had more babies. Nursed babies. Weaned babies. Wore babies. Loved babies. I read books, took classes, joined groups and lead groups.

I prayed, I cried, I left and I stayed. I spoke, I blogged, I planned, I wondered why.

Of all the roles I’ve auditioned for, played or pretended to play, not one made me feel whole, free or true.

So I decided to strip off the masks, the costumes, the makeup, the hats, the props and the prose.

What was left? Would I like the face starring back at me in the mirror? What identity would I hold without the relational, (mother, wife, sister, friend, daughter, aunt, neighbor), and professional, (small business owner, entrepreneur, mompreneur, work at home mom, instructor), attributes propping me up?

One day I decided I wanted to lose 10 pounds. I went for a walk down the road with a 10 pound dumbbell held in both hands, not to burn extra calories but to remind myself, (with each step), that I was carrying around an extra 10 pounds every minute of every day. It motivated me in a way too-small jeans, an accountability partner and the my fitness pal app could not.

Relying on and hiding behind those roles and attributes was just like carrying around that 10 pound dumbbell. Only instead of being carried by my hands and arms, it weighed heavy on my soul.

Stripped down, there was only one thing I was comfortable in and with. My own skin, and my identity as a follower of Christ, a beloved daughter of the one true king.

dpomkearze4-julia-caesar

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV    http://bible.com/111/mat.11.28-30.niv

Whatever your faith may be, I encourage you to strip down the many facades weighing you down, give thanks for the woman you are, and love the naked soul in the mirror.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here