Soon to be four

There are certainly different paths in life and each day we make decisions that lead us down these varying and winding paths.  Sometimes, we end up in a place that we quickly try to reverse out of for any number of reasons.  Other times, we end up right where we want to be without even meaning to.

My little family of three will be a family of four this winter.  My husband and I are due with baby #2 on Valentine’s Day!  We knew that we wanted a sibling for Aedan and are so very happy that he will have one soon.  But there is so much more to it.

Some of you may know what a struggle it was to bring Aedan into this world.  ( you can read more about it on this post: Journey to Motherhood: The Unspoken Medicine…Acupuncture and Fertility).  The short version is that it took us a miscarriage and nearly a year to conceive Aedan.  There were some small scares throughout the pregnancy and then Aedan arrived 5 weeks early and had to spend 11 days in the NICU (read more about that experience on this post: Four Pounds and Thirteen Ounces of Surprise).  He is all caught up now and simply amazing so all ended well but it was quite the ride.

I expected to have a similar experience for trying for a second baby.  As it turned out, we didn’t even need to try.  I must admit, when I saw that positive test, I didn’t believe it.  In fact, it took me 10 weeks and finally seeing the baby on the screen at the doctor to really believe there was really going to be another child in our lives.

I’m through the first trimester now and I can’t help but be a little nervous given our previous experience.  I’m both thrilled and worried at the same time.  Fertility is a funny thing that we don’t talk about a lot.  People think all you have to do is look at another person and you’ll get pregnant.  For most women, this isn’t true.  Fertility isn’t even constant from pregnancy to pregnancy for the same person.  It’s an emotional experience and for those who have struggled, it’s an experience that sits with you forever.  So for those of you who know what I’m talking about, you aren’t alone.

The lack of control a woman has in an experience like pregnancy can be testing.  We like our control. 🙂  I can’t predict if we’ll end up back in the NICU or not but I have no reason to believe we will.  So I’m going to try to put my fears aside and enjoy the experience.

Of course, a million questions about what it is like to parent two children run through my head at any given moment but I know it will be an adjustment just like with the first child and I’m so excited to be able to experience it.

I’m taking tips, mamas!